Niching To The Now with Tracy Brinkman -Ep.031

Niching To The Now with Tracy Brinkman -Ep.031

LISTEN TO EPISODE

SHOWNOTES

In this episode, Ashley sits down with Tracy Brinkman (host of the Dark Horse Entrepreneur, to challenge traditional marketing when it comes to the concept of “niching.”  Rather than doing all the ICA work and market research, Ashley and Tracy talk about how niching changes and no one person is the same.

This episode goes deep into unconventional methods for identifying profitable niches, including offbeat market research tactics and leveraging personal passions or expertise. Through intriguing examples and thought-provoking insights, the hosts encourage entrepreneurs to embrace the unconventional approach of niching tot he now and not get caught up on having it all figured out. 

TRANSCRIPT

Okay, hello, everyone. I’m very excited because I have a guest on today who I’ve been friends with for many years now we’ve met on the online world. And I think we met through a mutual friend, Jake, we met. Okay, yes. Shout out to Jake, Jake listens to the podcast. Hello, Jake. And so yeah, I have Tracy Brinkman on today.

And just like I had him on this podcast years ago when I, before I, shut it down and have revamped and I will say our conversations are the best, Tracy they’re the best. I’m just letting you guys know our conversations are the best and we’re going to put the intro for Tracy down in the comments because I want to get straight to our topic today.

Because Tracy is a freaking wealth of knowledge and you’re just freaking awesome. So we’re going to be talking about, we just named it right where we jumped on. We’re going to be talking about the topic of niching to the now. Dun, dun, Dun. Dun, dun, Dun. Dun, dun, Dun. So we’re going to talk about, I think I think I know, I don’t know why I said we’re going to talk about.

I think I know what we’re going to talk about. So Tracy, I’m just going to literally just jump to you, ask a question and I want you to just take it wherever we take it, wherever we take it. We always do. Yeah. It’s like we always do. So first of all I know that you’ve been in business for a really long time.

So I would love to know what you originally tell everyone what you originally niched. To and what that experience was for you. You’re probably like, Oh God, this has been years ago. We’re talking about how far we go back. If we talk about the most recent podcast where, which is how we met through Jake.

When I first started the podcast, I thought, you know what, I’m going to talk to. Entrepreneurs. And he says that in his big dramatic voice with my arms extended out wide because it’s such a broad audience, right? It’s probably, I believe when I looked at the numbers, it’s one of the most competitive arenas in the podcast space.

Everyone’s going into that space. So I thought I’m going to go in there and I’m going to be different. And then as I started going forward, I realized, wow, I need to narrow this down. And it took me, when I say Going through podcasts, we’re talking 18 months maybe almost two years. And I thought, ah, this isn’t no it was going okay.

I thought he’d go better. So I thought all right, let me do another arena that I’m good at, which is online courses, and I’ve been a coach since the nineties, coaches and online course creators. All right. Okay. So let’s niche down a little bit. And I was able to narrow the topics we were talking about and the people we brought on.

It made it a lot easier to say no to some of the, the plethora of, Hey, would you like to be a guest on my show? Those emails that you get, Hey, this is a great person. You’re like, yeah, no, just slide them to the side. But was still, there was this little bug in my ear going, you’re not quite there yet.

You’re not quite there yet. And funny enough, I have a a 35 year old daughter and she called me on the phone about three months ago and she wanted some parental advice and she wanted some business advice at the same time. She’s going, she went back to college the past few years, wants to start a bakery.

And so it was like this long two hour conversation. Needless to say, when it came to the parental advice, Somebody had given her some great wisdom when she was much younger. I don’t know who that might have been. No, I toot my own horn. She did credit me for the things she knew everything she needed to know.

I think she just wanted an ear to bounce off so many of us do in our business world. And so as I got off the phone and I was sitting down a couple of days later, ready to record the next episode. And it was like this. Those little lightbulb moments where you could almost literally see the lightbulb over your head as you’re maybe recording yourself, you’re doing something.

It was like, wait a minute, I’m a parent, right? I’m an entrepreneur. I’ve been through all this stuff. And people do call, not just my daughter, but other folks are like, hey, can I get your advice on this, that, or the other thing? And it tends to be. In that same arena, that little business and it’s, I started thinking about to a number of the folks that I had been in conversations with either online or in an event just like this right here.

How many of them were parents and how many of them complained about the struggles of that balance between juggling toddlers, teens in time and just, and finding that me time in there. And it was like, Oh my God, you could hear the food bar. Going off and I thought, okay, here’s what I’m gonna do.

I’m going to start narrowing this down because I’ve been a parent, actually, I’ve been a parent longer than I’ve been an entrepreneur. So I started and that’s when I started zeroing in down. And I think for me, it was, I was going to send the same message. But I was going to tweak that message to talk to you, Mrs.

Fernandez, or you, Mr. Joe Blow, who just had a baby and you’re like, Oh, what am I going to do? So that when you’re listening to the podcast or reading the content, you’re like, Oh, I get it. He’s talking to me. And it could be just a simple sentence, a paragraph, just a couple of minor tweaks, the rest of it’s the same.

So it still resonates with. The bigger audience, but I’m talking to that niche. Does that make sense? Yeah, so I have this concept. This is perfect. It’s like a great segue in I have this concept of relevancy and Relatability. So you can relate to something, but is it relevant to you at the moment? And I talk about this within messaging, because I feel like your messaging needs to have both.

It needs to be relatable, but it also needs to be relevant at the same time. So when you said that, yes it’ll appeal to many people, but it’ll be relevant to the people who really, Need to hear it right now, right? Like I can relate to the parents in the newborn stage because I’ve been there, but it’s not relevant to me right now because I have an almost three year old in a, tomorrow she’ll be six, her birthday is tomorrow, she’ll be six.

So I’m out of that newborn stage. I remember it very well, but it’s no longer relevant to me. But if someone were writing about it online, I would 100 percent be like, yep. Totally relate. I’ve been there. Totally get it. I see you. But it’s not really relevant at this time. So I love that you said that because I think that also speaks.

Into the niching is I think that over time, I love that you said you started out as like broad entrepreneurs. And I think that people get into the online space, especially if you are some type of beginner, you’ll get into the online space and you immediately are like, I need to niche down. I need to pick a niche.

I need to pick a niche. And then sometimes they’ll go way too specific where it feels very pressure because they don’t know that person. Very well. So it still feels like I’m not talking to them or they’ll go super, super broad and they think that’s bad. And I almost want to encourage no, that’s not bad.

You needed to speak to only entrepreneurs until you got a feel for, Hey, I actually really jive with this type of entrepreneur and I really like this type of entrepreneur, but you wouldn’t have known had you like been super specific right off the bat. And the fact that your business changed over time, right?

Yes, you were speaking to entrepreneurs and then you realize, Hey, actually course creators and coaches feel a little more in line with me right now in this moment. And so then you pivoted to that. And then all of a sudden you’re like, Hey, I’ve actually grown more as a human. I’ve grown more awareness.

I’ve grown more of evidence that people are actually coming and speaking to me and asking me advice on this. So now I can pivot again. And Niche to the now, I’m like totally going to use this phrase, because it’s so good. Niche to the now, and you did it with no I don’t want to say this, like no drama or no hesitation.

You’re just like, Nope, I know that this is where I can go now. And cool. And I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna go there. Yeah. It’s great. You say that with, cause I did it with no fanfare. I think the only thing I did was because I have podcast listeners is I did an episode and say, okay. Let me tell you, here’s what we’re doing, ladies and gentlemen.

And I just laid it out, almost a little bit like I just did just now, letting them know, hey, I’m going to take this is the focus. If you’re not a parent and you want to hang around, you’re still going to get value. But if you are, or are about to be one or know someone that is about to, that little group right there, I’m going to be zeroing in on you guys and here’s the scary thing because niching down is like, it’s like the kale of business, right?

It’s good for you, but you’re not quite sure that you like the taste.

You need to eat it, but do I dump a bunch of dressing on it? I don’t know. Then it’s not quite as good. But I lost my train of thought where I was going to go with that. But my thought was if I could just let folks know. And when I went on to about a month into it, and I personally didn’t look, I went into, the behind the scenes, the Apple connect where you can see the number of subscribers.

I saw a significant Drop, right? Week over week. It was like maybe 29 dropped and then 12 and then five and then four more. And you’re like, your heart stops when you see all that, all those red lines. But then I realized, wait a minute, take your own medicine, Tracy. These are folks that you weren’t clicking with.

They were probably hanging around because they were maybe I’ll still get something from this here and they’re fence sitters. It’s not good. It’s not bad. They’re just there. They’re checking you out. They’re like, I got it. I’m with you so far. But when I told them, you know what? Here’s what I’m doing.

They said, I’m out. And they’ll go find someone else that resonates with them, which is awesome because I don’t need them in my arena. If they’re not really there to do, to take in, and to take action, which is what we all want. What a service to them for anytime someone leaves my world, I like, yes, at first we want to take it a little personally we’re all human, we want to, but then I also just think wow, what awareness that they have to me, it’s I applaud them because I’m like, dude, I wouldn’t want to stay in someone’s space who really wasn’t benefiting me 100%, right?

And so anytime I see someone leave or remove themselves from someone’s content or, whatever, I like look at that as such an amazing things. I’m like, Oh my gosh, yes, they have the awareness to understand that this person is not, or me or anyone is not bringing them 100 percent of the value that they’re asking for.

And they’re not wasting their time. And Like to me, that’s like emotional intelligence. And it’s a sign of a very high level person, and they respect their boundaries and they respect their space. I think I just wanted to insert that. Cause I think so many people don’t think of it that way.

Like I have lots of clients who come to me and Oh, so and unsubscribe from my email. And I’m like, good for them. Oh my God. Can you applaud them? Applaud them that they literally have the awareness to understand that. You aren’t giving them the value they 100 percent need. Wouldn’t you want to be able to leave someone’s space and then be like, yes, totally get it.

It’s not for you. That’s why you’re like. And I think you can add on to that because if you’re niching down and you find folks that are jumping ship, so to speak, because you did that niching down, you’ve almost established your let’s use the air quotes expert status. They’re like, oh I don’t need an expert in this.

So I’m out. However, at the same time, they just left you. They’ll still remember you. They hung around for a little while. When someone says, do you know anyone that’s going to help parents that want to escape their nine to five or start a side hustle, they go, Oh, funny. You should ask. I just was just listening to a podcast that focuses on that and then they can share you because they know you’re focusing inside that box.

Referability. I like, I think about that all the time because there are so many that I’ve worked with. So many people online that I like can’t refer them, it’s like when they come to me, I’m like, how can I refer you? And they don’t know how to, and this is why I love messaging because messaging is so brilliant and helping you articulate what it is that you do so people can refer you because it’s like, if they don’t really know how people can refer them, I don’t think they are honed in enough on what they’re doing.

So yeah, I love that. Referability is like what I call that. But yeah, I don’t know what we were talking about before I injected that. That’s okay. That’s what happens in our conversations. We’re, I think we’re weighing the pros and cons of niching down, right? Because everyone’s, like you said they jump in, they jump into the lake.

Let’s say the lake of digital marketing when they jump in, they make a splash and the ripples go out across the lake, but by the time it reaches the other side of the lake, the ripples are non existent. So you’re not reaching anybody on the other side of the lake. But when you start to niche down, when you jump into a smaller pond, you’re now the expert, as we just mentioned. And at the same time, there’s less competition. So if I go back to when I started this podcast, if you go to entrepreneurship, how many entrepreneurship podcasts are out there? Thousands. Millions. Thousands. Millions. And it may be. I’m over here like millions.

But so here I am competing with. Thousands or millions of podcasts. When I niched down the first time I stopped duking out with every Tom, Dick and Harry that’s out there now, I’m just working on those that do digital marketing coaches and course creators, okay, we’re still in the hundreds and maybe still a thousand or so, but when I go down and say parents or folks parent panniers is the catch word that’s out there.

You know how many I found that are out there right now? When on the search terms I used, it was three. Wait, three that are focused on parents and entrepreneurship as a combination. So now do you think I have an opportunity to make a dent and reach the folks I’m trying to reach? I think the answer would be yes.

So that just comes down to less competition. And we mentioned this earlier before you hit that record button. Now I’m able to target my marketing, right? I can speak right to all my left handed parents that want to escape the nine to five, if that would be the one to go after. And your messaging gets a lot clearer.

So does your acknowledgement of being the expert because You are able to actually speak to them in such a language that resonates and is relevant to them. It’s not a relatability. It’s now you’re on the relevancy frequency. That’s what you’re on. So yeah, you are able to get more nuanced.

You are able to get more specific. And then even when you niche down to, me, I love talking about ideal client. And I talked about ideal client in such a way that you need to get so specific. And this is my five a method. I talk about it all the time, but when you are able to. niche down, quote unquote, like the industry niching.

To me, niching just means you’re getting more clear on your ideal client. I think a lot of people see niching as just like a category that you need to be in. And I’m like, I don’t see that. I see it more of who you’re talking to, who you’re niching down to be able to speak to on such a level. That they understand, and it is really, truly putting you as the expert in your industry.

Yeah, and the key there’s two things inside of that you mentioned, and I don’t make sure no one, I don’t want to gloss over it. One is their language. You’ll learn it.

Because maybe, like me, I was a parent a little while ago, but I’m keeping up with my parent skills through my daughter, luckily. But, so you’ll either relearn it, or you already know it, so you know all the key phrases, you know all their pain points. And the I forget what the other one was. It was the language and the targeting.

You know who you’re going after so that you could even zero in further. And I may do it, I may go, you know what? I’m going after the dad preneurs. I literally was about to say, yeah. So I could just go. Yeah. Yeah. Because there’s lots of entrepreneurs out there and I could talk to them. But I don’t think they’ll hear my message as well as if you spoke to them as a mompreneur, but if I went after the dadpreneurs, oh, now I can not only speak the language that they’re used to, I can speak the language that is only spoken out in the garage.

You know what I’m talking about? Like when a dad and his son are having that one on one conversation, those life lessons that he has to learn from his dad. Otherwise, he has to find a dad figure to learn them from those conversations that the ladies often are not a part of. So that may be me.

Who knows? That may be my next. Click down sounds, sounds like a good, sounds like a good move because I even think about for you in general, like you do have that experience as a dad and as the entrepreneur. And so they could relate a little bit again, that rel that relatability and relevancy.

Could be even a little bit clearer, but yeah, who knows? But even I think like talking about language, cause I’m a word nerd and I love the messaging aspect. I think again, when we talked about your niching down to your idol client, I’m sorry, I have a hair that keeps falling on me.

I’m, like, trying to me. At first I thought it was a spider and I had to take a minute and be like, okay, it’s definitely not a spider. You reacted very calmly to that. I I just looked down because I was, like, it’s either a spider or a hair and I’m just gonna really hope that it’s just a hair.

But yeah, sorry guys, I’m, like, I had hair on me and I was trying to get it off and I couldn’t get it off, but. And at random, I was actually in the car yesterday and I’m driving and I see a little fuzz like literally right here next to my eye and I thought it was just like something floating and I like looked and it was a spider hanging from My ceiling, it had come to, it was a little baby one.

Had come down on a web, like right next to my face in the car. And I’m like, Oh my God, you had your own personal Charlotte moment. Anyways, let me get back to what I was saying. I don’t even know what I was saying. I think something around, Oh yeah. So when you’re niching down to your ideal client and then using the messaging, like you said, the talk kind of in the garage because you can even.

Use some of that language in your marketing to match that like type of person, right? And I will say this too, like even the languages of what you’re using, because for example, I’m just going to give this example. You said when we were talking, I said, so who are you reaching to now? You said working parents.

escaping their nine to five. So when I hear the word escape, I like, I think of okay, they feel trapped. And for me personally, as a female, I don’t really relate to the word escape, but I’m also like, probably not your ideal client, right? Your ideal client. So I think of a man would probably use the word I feel freaking trapped.

I want to escape this. I think, versus like a female, that kind of was a little harder, like a little harsher, like a harsher of a word. But it is, it’s even those nuances with, within the word, in like that male energy that feels a little bit more like a, Yeah, I feel trapped and I’m going to do something about it.

There it is. Like I’m going to escape it. So yeah, I think you should make the decision right here on this podcast.

I’m like, yeah, that sounds, that sounds really good. And, we even talked, I will say this too, which might not even really be relevant. Now, if you are going to niche down to the males, but I’m going to say it anyway, because we were talking before we jumped on this. Before we hit record, and I mentioned that I was just talking to my, my friend Rachel about the nine to five and how when you become an entrepreneur, and this probably still would relate, I think, actually to men, so I will say it.

That when you become an entrepreneur online, there is this stigma of you have to leave your nine to five as fast as possible and build an empire as quickly as you can and get that side hustle to your full time income. And so it becomes this, we’re almost trying to trading the like pressure of being in a nine to five and then to the pressure of now, like trying to leave that nine to five and build this business, like super quickly.

That is actually really leaning on the fact that, Hey, my nine to five right now is actually offering me some stability and money and some stability in like comfort, right? So that I can actually build my side hustle in a very sustainable way. Yes. And I love that because I don’t think that is something preached about in the online world.

And I will also go, I’m going to record a whole podcast about this because I was fired up about it yesterday is this thing too, is that now you try to say you, it becomes a side hustle, but then it’s like that side hustle becomes your purpose. And so then you’re related to Oh, I’m out here building.

An empire and a legacy, creating a legacy. So then you put all this pressure on now it’s like this job. So you have this pressure on like your career. Now it’s Oh, now it’s this business. And now this business is my purpose. And now it’s my legacy. And I have to just go hard hard.

You forget why you started a business in the first place, which was like time freedom, mostly, and being able to make money without. Having to do an answer to somebody else that’s why I became an entrepreneur. And I think one of the, one of the, there’s two challenges inside of that for the folks that are doing that escape, that cubicle, I call it the cubicle escape or just wanting to start a side hustle to enhance their income.

Okay. Either one. And one is a lot of the folks that are starting their Enhancement or cubicle escape have never run anything solo a lot. All right. Many of them have, but a higher percentage of them have not. So that pressure, like you were mentioning of, Oh, I’ve got to get this thing up and running and going and fix and make it my world.

It gets multiplied. It gets stacked even harder because they’re like, shit, I don’t know how to, I’ve never done that. I’m in. I’ll speak to corporate America. Most jobs jbs, you do as you’re told. Yes. That’s it. You do this is your lane, you stick in it, and if you deviate, I’m gonna correct you.

And here’s your SOPs. And here’s they didn’t, there’s no nicheing. Think about that for a second. There’s no nicheing in corporate. Yeah. And they didn’t create anything themselves. A, a lot of them don’t know how to, so they have to learn that. Then once they do it, they don’t know how to execute it, so they gotta learn, there’s all these little steps along the way.

And then the, I forget what the other one was, there was two parts. One was the not knowing how to and two, I think is not everyone’s ready to, so even if they know how to, they may not be mentally, physically, spiritually ready to step out. On their own, all by themselves, unguided. Yeah, sure, I know how to run a department, I’ve been doing it for 20 years.

Yeah, but now you’re going to be doing it by yourself. And if you fail alone, you fail. Where in corporate America if you… Yeah, you fail harder. So there’s those two monsters, in the background on your shoulder going, ah, you’ve never done it. Ah, you’ve done it, but you don’t know how to do it by yourself kind of thing.

Because, even in corporate America, it’s okay, here’s what I’m thinking. Here’s my plan, boss, VP, whoever, what do you think? And they’re like, Oh, this looks good. Good job. So now they’ve got that, they’ve got that pad on the back that they can go forth and create. And I think for those that are in that second class, having a mentor can help them with that part.

For the for the folks in the beginning having a mentor can help them as well, but they’ve got a lot more learning to do before. They move over to that second stage. So it’s almost like this flow. Okay, you’re gonna start something cool. Go out there and do it. Watch the YouTube videos. Take the online courses and start taking those steps.

And then you’ll become the person that’s done it, but you haven’t done it alone. Now you get a different type of mentor that helps you with that part of it. And then it’s just a choice of whether you want to step out. And it becomes your full time gig or or not. And, here’s the third one, it just hit me in the head, so many folks want to create something awesome, which is great, but don’t create yourself another J O B.

Yeah, all you’re doing is you’re taking something that you’re doing now for someone else, and you’re making it… Harder. Yeah. Standalone business. Cause now you have to find the clients. You have to market yourself. You have to do all these things. Yes. Yes. Don’t create a JLB for yourself. Yes. And it’s you didn’t create just a job.

You created a whole company that you have to run because you have to run all aspects. You’re the financial advisor, you’re the service help desk lines. It makes it even worse. But yeah, and then I think, getting back to the niching part of it. Like I love that you said the two camps of they can get two different mentors.

And I think even too, they need to know specifically what camp they’re in. So they know what mentor to hire for them. And again, so those mentors, hello, listening, if you’re one of those mentors, it’s so important to niche. Down to those specifics, right? Like you said, those are two very specific people and looking for two very specific things.

And so I think the more that you can get specific, but I also want to throw this in there too, is we’ve hit on it a little bit, but also like, when you get specific. It doesn’t mean you’re in a pigeonhole, like you said earlier, Tracy, it doesn’t mean you decide, Hey, I’m going to work with just entrepreneurs.

And from here on out, I’m going to build a million dollar business. Only speaking to entrepreneurs because guess what? We’re humans. We grow after every single client that we get, we can figure out, Hey, I really liked this about that client. These parts probably didn’t work really well for me and, or really well for them vice versa.

So you’re able to get more specific over time and it’s okay to pivot and change your niche. I’ve changed several times, but I even think for me, like just now and you’ve known me for a few years, Tracy. So you’ve seen, you’ve seen this pivot and you’ve also seen like a time where I was like, I don’t even know what I’m doing.

I’m just like throwing things out there and seeing if they stick. Which is also okay. I like want everyone to know that like I built a multiple six figure business. Speaking to a very specific person, doing a very specific thing. And then all of a sudden I was like, I don’t really love this anymore.

I want to try something different. And I just started trying a bunch of different things to see what stuck. And you saw me right in the middle. You even interviewed me during that point. So like you, you got to see these changes and through that process, I’m now like, dang, I’m owning a lot of things that I didn’t own in the past.

And I’m speaking, I’m more open to certain types of clients, right? Like all these different things. So you’re able to change. Your need, like even for me I am quote unquote, I like to call it blue, like I have some blue in there and I love going down the human design rabbit hole. I love going down the astrology rabbit hole.

Astrology is like so huge to me, but I’m maybe like a 1%. I love to learn about astrology and I love to follow people who talk about astrology, but I have never really openly talked about that a lot in my content. Now, my clients who work with me, sometimes I’m like, Hey, can I have your birth information?

I totally want to pull this and see, I want to do your writing signage. Where’s your mercury? Doing all these things. I want to know what kind of human, I want to see your chart. Like I want to know, so I can also direct you on your messaging, like what you are, your energy and what you show up speaking to X, Y, Z.

And I used to closet that like I did not tell people that online. I only did that with my clients once I thought they were receptive. And then I ended up sitting on an email just last week, actually. And basically letting everybody know that Rachel and I were no longer business partners. Everything was great that now this email list was just going to be me.

And I had someone email back and they were like, are you going to continue to talk about a little here and there about human design and astrology because I’ve found it to be so helpful. And I was like, Oh my God, my people actually want that. And listen to them. Then I went, I let my like freak flag fly.

I sent out an email after that and I was like, all right guys, and I screenshot what they sent in the email. And I said, Hey, If you’re wondering the answer to this question, it is yes. And then I went on about how in astrology your seventh house is your one on one client. And I even broke it down and how I’m a Libra rising, how that energy shows up in my content, how I actually talk about these specific things to this very specific.

And then I went on to be like, yep, we can even see your subconscious desires and your subconscious, like beliefs in your astrology. And this is, and I was like, and one of mine is my fifth house, which is my moon is in my fifth house of creativity and like the weird things. And it’s an Aquarius, which is like Aquarius is the innovative, it’s the futuristic.

It’s like the people think they’re very weird, but whatever energy. And I’m like, yep. And the reason why I haven’t talked about this is because my subconscious belief is that people are going to misunderstand me for their various reasons. They’re weird and esoteric things that I’m into. And I was like, yeah, and here’s my subconscious.

And I got so many people to reply to that. I was like, Oh my God, can you do this for me? Oh my goodness. This was like, so helpful. I’ve never thought of it that way, like XYZ. And I’m like, Hey, I think I’m on to something. So I’m getting more clear in using those modalities within my messaging as long as well as like the hypnotherapy, the NLP, which I’ve always openly talked about.

Cause I don’t feel like that’s as well. I was like, when you get into like astrology, people are like, Oh God she’s done something now. Oh God. I’ve started to talk about that, but I say that because I have pivoted and I have been open to changing and seeing who I really enjoy working with.

And I do enjoy working with people who are open to that because it’s super helpful for them. And it’s I’ve seen huge. Huge aha moments, those lightbulb moments where they’re like, Oh my God, and then they go out and they start implementing it and they’re like, Oh, that felt so good to show up in that energy.

And I’m like, you just needed permission to show up a little bit in that way. Exactly. I think, first off, I think that’s amazing that you did that. That you said, okay, here it goes. I’m going to, the guard wall, full out.

I did something not quite as extreme, but very similar way, way back when. Shortly, oh, shortly after my third daughter was born. So the second one had passed away as you remember during our previous discussions. And it was, and I had started doing public speaking around the Atlanta area and I had built up a pretty decent email list.

If I remember correctly, it was about 8, 000 emails and there were, they were focused on two topics. One was personal development and the other one was public speaking. The two areas that people can really benefit from and I kept it very, I don’t want to say clinical. But I kept it very structured.

Here’s the lesson, here’s the pros, here’s the cons, kind of thing. And people were with that. Now, I threw humor and a little emotion in there. So that’s why clinical wasn’t quite the word. But then, on Thanksgiving morning, right? It was, I think my little one was about two years old. I was sitting there in the kitchen.

And my mom and dad were over and they hadn’t been over at the house for a number of years and I was just looking around and it was just, I just rushed a feeling. I was like, Gine, this is awesome. And looking at my girls sitting around the table, my dad, my mom, and the whole thing. So I walked over to my computer and I sat down and I started just, It was just, the emotion was just flowing.

Hey, I know it’s Thanksgiving, hope you’re all doing good. I just wanted to share something with you. And I opened up about the loss of my little one and the blessings that have come from my personal development journey, my, my public speaking journey, and how that was the actual impetus that started it.

And here I am standing in, my kitchen and my family’s amazing. Versus a direction that I could have taken and I, wraps it up with this whole, Hey, I hope you guys, if you’re going through a dark time, have the ability to reach out to someone. And if it’s just me, reach out to me, I’m happy to listen.

And I got more replies and more comments about that email than any email I sent before that. Most of them since after that. And it was just that, okay, I’m going to pull the veil back and just be me. And I guess it’s the whole, we as humans, we can, we have an authenticity monitor that’s very sensitive.

And people, even with their reading and email can go, he’s bullshit. Or they’re like, holy shit. This guy finally let me in. And I think that’s what opened up that the floodgates wasn’t the fact that I, did the digital vomit on him. It was like, Oh my God, that was real. And I can connect with him because of what he said here, what he said there.

And there was a different set of bonds going on from that moment forward, which you’re probably seeing from from your email list as well as a result of that. Yeah, 100%. And I think even going back to what our original topic of niching is that you also want to speak to people who do get you as well.

Yes. I think that’s something that we as entrepreneurs are always like, Oh, we need to speak to our people. Like we need to speak to them. We need to speak to them. And it’s all about them. But I also think like there needs to be a little bit of you in there too. Yeah. I think I see it either, or I see like some people make it all about them.

And they’re like here’s how much money I made. And here’s like how wonderful I am. And blah, blah, blah. And I’m like, I don’t care. Or they make it all about their clients. And you don’t even know who they are. I’ll give you like, actually, I’ll give you a really great example. There was someone that I followed for years when I first.

began my entrepreneurial journey. And I, like they talked about them all the time and like how they made money. And at the time, like when you first become an entrepreneur. You tend to walk to those people at first because you’re like they did it. I really they’re talking about how they did it and how they’re successful.

They are. So you I want to be successful. It’s that pressure we talked about earlier. Yeah. That kind of that pressure to like make money. So we do gravitate towards those people. And then after you’ve been in the game for a little bit, you realize that Oh, I need some more depth.

Nothing wrong with those people. They serve the people that they are meant to serve and that’s great. But then sometimes you start to realize I need a little bit more depth. I really want to know a little bit more about the people that I’m investing my time and energy into watching and learning from.

And I remember following this person for probably three years and then I unfollowed. I was like I’m it doesn’t really jive with me anymore. And then about two or three years later, I saw them pop up on somebody else’s podcast. And it was like, so crazy to me because the interview.

While yes, it was about them still, it wasn’t about the success that they’ve made all of their business. It was talking about them and they were telling a lot of personal stories. And then they also threw in some of their clients and talking about some of their clients and who they’d work with and like different things.

And I immediately was like, okay, yes, I’m going to follow this person again. Because not only were they just they changed from speaking about themselves all the time and like on their success level and they weren’t selling really sharing anything personal to then actually sharing some things that were personal as well as how they were talking to their ideal clients and what they were helping.

with and X, Y, Z, and all of that. So they would have this very great duality of this is me on a personal level, as well as this is what I help you with in business. But then this is also like great examples of clients that I have helped and not just like what all the amazing things I’ve done. And I think that’s super important because.

I think within niching, yeah, it’s always the focus. It’s always I’m going to niche on this very specific person and I’m only going to talk to this very specific person and only talk to them and talk at them versus to them. Does that make sense? Yeah. There’s a huge difference of talking at someone or talking to someone.

And I think in order to talk to someone, you have to be able to have a back and forth. And that means opening up a little bit and sharing. You don’t have to go share every vulnerable thing about you, right? But you can start to, to relate. I know my followers, or my, I hate to even say the word followers.

I don’t love that word, but I know my people. Who pay attention to me and my content. They know that I have two daughters. They know that my husband’s name is Ben. I talk about those things all the time, right? And it was funny because I actually learned from that person that they had three kids.

They had three daughters. And I was like, I didn’t even know they were a mom. I didn’t even know they were married. I had no idea. You know what I mean? Like I knew nothing personal. I didn’t know where they lived. I didn’t know anything about anything at them. And then when they started sharing that, I was like, Oh, I can totally see this.

I can relate to this. They started really just sharing more personal things. And I think that’s super important, especially within niching. Yeah. Oh, 100 percent also have to match your lifestyle too. I think that’s another thing, right? I’ve worked with coaches before in the past that looked really great.

And then once I got in their containers. And their lifestyle just didn’t really like jive with me. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I’m like, I really want to work with someone who Values that they, the same things I value. And you’re going to be working with parents, right? So you want to value that.

They want to have time with their children, right? Like parents want to have time with their children. If you were out there being like, you know what? Nope. My nanny watches my kids 24 seven. I hardly ever see my kids. Blah, blah, blah. You’re not, they’re not going to relate to that. They’re going to be very disappointed.

If they got into your container and found out, like you don’t even parent. And, and I think at the same time, there’s the script flip on that. Because it’s the way I share the stories and talk to folks, and not just my stories, but other folks stories, it tells them it, it tells them that very thing, look, what I’m focusing on is those parents that want more time for their family to be together that want to, and I actually did an episode on this, it’s not about adapting, it’s about integrating.

You don’t change your world to be a parent entrepreneur. You integrate it together. And if you’re going to stay with the nine to five at the same time then there’s three integrations you’ve got going on. And I think that’s a big difference. You’re not a lot. Oh my God, I’ve have to stop doing this and start doing no.

You might not have to, maybe it’s just about when do you do it? Oh, you do a little in the morning to a little in the afternoon, whatever it might be. So that’s that that integration, but it’s all about. Those folks that want to be closer with their family members, kids included, which to me tells those other parents that might still want to be parentpreneurs, I might not be the right person for you if you don’t want to be closer with your family.

Yeah. For whatever reason, you don’t want to be close with your family. That’s cool. It’s not my story. I don’t know it, but I might not be the right person for you because that’s who I’m trying to help. Yeah. 100%. I wish I would have heard that when I first started because I first started my online business when my first daughter was in my tummy.

When I was pregnant and I remember I I started it before, but it didn’t go full time until I was pregnant with Emory. And I remember thinking like, and I’m sure this is very real for people is that. My business really took off like when she was a newborn and I did trade the I don’t want to say trade, but I felt a lot of resentment because I now had this business that had taken off and I want, I enjoyed it because it felt like me, like I just now had been carrying a baby for nine months and now I was newborn and I’m like not sleeping and it’s all this stuff. And I’m a very ambitious person and I like my job or my business. Was a part of me from before I became a parent that felt like I don’t want to lose this, right?

And so I did there was a lot of resentment there of I don’t have time to spend on my business because I have a freaking baby that’s crying and waking every two hours and they have You know and Lord have mercy with breastfeeding like all these things, right? like all these things and the stress of being a new mom and like all everything, right?

Yeah. And you’re right. I was trying to adapt versus integrate. And it took me a while to also even ask for help because I’m supposed to do it all right. And and you have to, when you’re a new mom, do it off your breastfeeding. Cause it’s you have, if you have, you’re the only one who can do it.

I tried to help, but she wouldn’t let me. I don’t know. Listen, the second one was a completely different story. I was like, nope, I’m not breastfeeding. The second one straight to formula. So you can help me. Which I’m like very happy, but not knocking, breastfeeding by any means. I think it’s a beautiful and wonderful thing.

I just was like, nope, not for me the second time. It was like you said that integrating over adapting and I think as a parent during that stage There was a lot of frustration. There was a lot of resentment because I now had more responsibility I had a responsibility to my newborn child that I just had and then I also had a responsibility to my clients because they had Paid to work with me And it was this juggling act and I wish there would have been someone in my life being like hey, it’s okay To put your business down a little bit and enjoy the time with your family, because I felt like it was a trade off.

Yeah. And I really felt like it was a trade off. I think there’s somewhere out there that mindset got instilled and it’s it’s good. I know it came from somewhere. Yeah. Oh yeah. And it may be the whole corporate America thing, right? I if I speak to it from a male perspective, if I grew up, my dad was.

Working for the family. He was the provider. And that’s the manly thing. We’re the hunters. We’re the gatherers. We’re the protectors. So it’s our job. Okay. I’m cool with that. But as I went through my corporate career, it was like wait a minute. I want to spend time with my kids and, doing 80 hours in the office.

Even though I loved my job, it didn’t work well and I had to realize, okay, let me reflect back here, why am I doing this? And it’s all those little messages that have been hammered into your head from day one, sorry about that. How do you address those? How do you fix them?

And how, again, how do you integrate them? I still need to be a provider, but now I have to balance that providing with, parenting. Yes. Yeah. I totally love it. But we’re at the time I just looked up and I was like, yeah, an hour has already passed. Speaking of which, how has that happened? How? I swear our conversations are so great.

I loved this conversation. And I think that a lot of people, no matter what stage of business they’re in, I think this was very helpful, or I’m hoping it was very helpful for you, anyone listening, because I think just the niching aspect and looking at it as like niching in the now where you’re at currently now and having the permission to change that in the future, because you’re not going to be the same person in the future.

And it probably will change in the future. And if it does it. Also great. Does not matter if you’re like, shoot, I know my niche. I’m so good. I’m so good at it right now. Cool. Wonderful. That’s also amazing. But I think it was super helpful. And I’m really glad that we had this conversation. It was when I also needed to hear you always have to be reminded because you think niches niching is such like a basic concept.

Idol client is such a base, I’m doing air quotes, basic concept. And people think Oh, once you have them down, like you can skyrocket, but it’s no, your idol client is. Always getting clearer and your niche is always getting clear and you do have permission for those to change. And I think that was just, yeah, I think this conversation was much needed.

So I would love for you, Tracy, to let people know how they can find you, how they can work with you, and I’ll make sure to link it in the show notes. The easiest way, the one stop shop is go ahead and check out the website, which is darkhorseschooling. com. You can check out the podcast. All the socials will be up there on the upper hand, right?

And you can find me a lot on Facebook, although you’ll find me on. TikTok as well. No dancing allowed. Sorry. Oh, listen, I just started. I like love TikTok. I don’t really post on it, but I watch, I like, that’s the only thing I scroll on these days. But I know I literally tell myself, Ashley, you shouldn’t just start just posting on there cause you’re on there all the time.

Just start posting on there. And I will. But I love TikTok. I love it so much. I don’t do the dancing either, but I do love it. I don’t really see, it’s funny because I don’t ever really see anyone dancing on my algorithm does not show me that. Hey, good. Don’t ever click. I’m like, my algorithm’s on point.

My algorithm shows me tons of astrology, tons of human design, tons of mindset. I follow a couple of hypnotherapists on their personal development, entrepreneurship. Yeah, I have my things on point, but I will make sure to link those below. And thank you so much, Tracy. This was wonderful. My pleasure.

Bye.