Shifting “pain point” marketing – Ep.013

Shifting “pain point” marketing – Ep. 013

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, Ashley shares how to shift out of the traditional “Pain Point” Marketing techniques that are widely taught in the industry to attract clients who actually take action. 

Key Takeaways:

1. Shifting Thoughts Framework: The episode revolves around Ashley’s innovative “Shifting Thoughts Framework” in marketing. Traditionally, entrepreneurs are taught to sell based on pain points, emphasizing the client’s struggles and then presenting their offer as the solution. The host argues against this approach, highlighting the negative impact it has on both sides of the marketing equation.
2. Negative Emotion in Marketing: Ashley explores the consequences of selling on negative emotions and pain points. She discusses how this strategy often leads to clients entering programs with a sense of desperation, driven by negative feelings. This approach, she contends, sets the stage for potential disappointment and the creation of codependent relationships.
3. Unintentionally Making Ideal Clients Wrong: A compelling revelation is shared about how entrepreneurs unintentionally make their ideal clients wrong by emphasizing pain points. Ashley suggests that this tactic creates a dynamic where the client is portrayed as helpless, leading to codependency rather than empowerment.
4. Shifting Thoughts in Content Creation: Ashley advocates for a shift in content creation. Instead of focusing solely on pain points, she encourages marketers to address the underlying thoughts that hold clients back. By shifting the client’s mindset in content, marketers can attract individuals who are ready to take action and see real results without the need for constant convincing.

Conclusion: The episode concludes with a powerful call to abandon traditional marketing strategies that create dependency and disempowerment. Ashley encourages listeners to embrace a new approach that focuses on shifting the thoughts of their audience, fostering a positive and empowered mindset that aligns with true success.

LISTEN TO EPISODE

TRANSCRIPT

hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of the no far around show. Oh man. I am just sitting here premiering. My thoughts for this episode, I am probably going to go on a little rant with this episode. Welcome to my life. It is a Thursday and I am recording this episode after being gone for an entire week, Sunday to Sunday last week on a mastermind retreats.

So I am part again, a part of an amazing mastermind and we had our in-person retreat. Monday Tuesday, Wednesday, and then we had a free day on Thursday and then we had a public event that was just a business conference. Anyone could join. We had that Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and I had the amazing honor of speaking on Saturday to the people who came

and. I also realized that I’ve only ever spoken at women’s conferences. I’ve never actually had men in the audience besides the other speakers husbands or anything like that.

So I had never really spoken to a bunch of men and there were a ton of men at this conference and there were. All ranges of entrepreneurs. There were some who have not even started a business. There were some who were at six figures, seven figures, eight figures. It was just kind of all over the place.

Which was really awesome. So I got to meet a ton of new people, but there were a ton of men and it’s all me. I have to say. It intimidated me a little bit, but I got on that stage, and the first thing I said was I just told them, Hey, you all, I I’m really nervous right now.

I’m shaking. Like leave my, I had my armpits. You could probably see my stains and sweating like a hog, which ironically hogs don’t sweat. There was a girl there who actually owns a hog farm. And so I asked her do hogs, actually sweat. And she said, no, which I don’t know where that phrase came from. But one thing I learned was that hops don’t sweat.

So here I am, you know, learning new things at this conference. Amazing. But I’m up here on this stage. And I said something on the stage during my presentation. And it was you know, those conversations or maybe you’re talking to somebody else and exactly what you say to them is what, everything you needed to hear yourself.

Well, that’s what kind of happened during this presentation. I said something to them and then I go, Oh my gosh, this, this is everything that I talk about. This is everything that I preach. And I just didn’t realize that I had done it this way. So I’m just going to go ahead and come out and say exactly what it is and it’s something guys.

Oh, the more it festered on it. Like, again, this is the Thursday after I came back, I came back on Sunday and I just been thinking about this ever since I’ve gotten back in, it’s just been something that’s been festering in my mind and on my heart. And it’s something that I want to get super ranty and Chelly about.

Because I really see the detriment that it causes. So what I was presenting on was my thoughts shifting framework. So I tend to create content that is all around. Shifting thoughts. And I use a lot of NLP tactics for this. I use a lot of storytelling for this. Or just even asking you what fires you up?

What do you teach? How do you do it differently than your industry and creating content around that so that you are basically shifting your ideal client’s thoughts instead of selling on emotion. So if you have been in the marketing world at all, we all know the term sell on emotion. Because they back up with logic, right?

Like they buy on emotion, they back up with logic. And I do not believe that that’s not 100% true, but I don’t think people expect explain it well enough, or I think, I think it’s being taught completely wrong. So this is kind of what I talked about on the stage. And just even to preface this, like show of hands, if you’re listening to this, raise your hand, I’ll just pretend I’m seeing you.

Okay. Show of hands. If you’ve ever sold your program, your offer, your product, whatever you have, you’ve sold it based off of digging into your ideal client’s pain points. And then basically painting the picture of what it could look like to work with you and then selling your offer. Like I’m over here raising my hand because.

This is exactly how I was taught, but this is what I started to notice. First of all, I started noticing on two sides of the coin. The first is a lot of us as entrepreneurs have bought into programs or offers or anything, right. Where we were sold into that program on a negative emotion on a pain point, right?

We’re in here. They’re like, you’re here and you feel this way and blah, blah, blah. And then I can help you reach this result. And I noticed this because I saw a lot of entrepreneurs buying into these programs and we were buying into these programs because we were being prodded on our pain points. And then we in our minds kind of thought like this has to work.

If this program doesn’t work, then I’m a failure, right? This person is selling me, all these amazing things, everything that I want, like this has to work. And we end up buying that program on a very negative. Very very negative feeling. Very negative feeling. And it almost creates a sense of desperation for us.

And so then, what can happen on two sides of the coin? Again, we can get into the program, we can do all of the work and still not get the results. That they promise or we get in and we realized this is not for me. And then we just throw it out the window. We’re like, no, this is too basic.

This is not at all. They were talking about. This is not a good fit for me. And then we just kind of let it go. I was seeing this happen all the time and I kept asking myself, why is this happening? Why is this happening? Then I saw it on the other side of that. A lot of us as entrepreneurs, we’re doing almost the same thing in our marketing.

We were being hypocritical in a way we were going out there and we were also selling on pain points and then offering the solution. And I’m just going to raise my hand because I was 100% guilty of this. And that’s how I was taught. Marketing is to speak on their pain points and then paint them a picture of what it can look like and then sell them your offer.

Right. And I’ve started to realize over the years that doesn’t actually lead to a very great result. What it led to was a lot of clients coming to me, wanting me to be their savior instead of their guide. And it created a lot of codependent relationships on both sides, because even they would come into my program and then they wouldn’t get results.

And then I start bending over backwards being like, well, they paid me, so I have to help them get results. And then I would jump in and start doing a lot of work for them. And then I would be burnt out and I would be angry. And. It just was not a good situation. It just never became a good situation. And so I started, it’s collecting all this data and I am one of those people who are always like, why, why is it totally came over to my daughter?

My daughter asked why every five minutes. And I’m like, Oh, but I, I praise her on that. And I’m like, thank you for being curious. That’s amazing. I love that. You’re curious because mommy is also curious. And a lot of the times people don’t like. When you ask them questions, but I just want you to know that’s never a negative thing.

That’s a good thing to ask questions. It’s so good to be curious, right. This a little parenting tip, but yeah, so she sends tends to be a lot like me and I just kept asking why, why, why, why, why? And then I started to realize this, I set it on the stage and then I was like, Oh my gosh. Yes, this is everything I’m about.

This is everything I teach. Yeah. And what I noticed was that a lot of times, as entrepreneurs in our marketing, we are trying to make our ideal clients wrong, maybe unintentionally, but when we’re selling on these negative pain points, when we’re poking and prodding on all the things. That they’re doing that.

Aren’t right. We’re trying to tell them that they’re wrong. We’re trying to make them wrong so that then we can sell them our right solution. I don’t know about you guys, but that does not feel good to me. Does not feel good to me. And I’m going to tell you a little story and I told the story on the stage and it.

And now that I like keep thinking about it, I like keep finding new angles. I’m like, Oh, this is so good. But my daughter’s Emory, and again, she’s someone who asks why all the time she is a very strong-willed child. She is literally the spitting image. personality-wise me. She looks just like her dad, but acts just like me Lord to help him.

And she. Comes to me in the morning. And she was doing this for several days. She loves to pick out her outfits. She loves it. She’s a independent person. And she came to me and she said, mommy, I want chips for breakfast. And of course, as a mom, I’m like, no, you can’t have chips for breakfast. And of course, but what happened then is my toddler would have a meltdown as you go why mommy And I would say, because. Chips aren’t for breakfast. And then she’d start, crying, she’d have a meltdown. And I started to realize that this was not getting anywhere. This was not good. Right. It was not a good thing. And so I started to step into her shoes and I was like, what is she thinking?

When I tell her no. Well, she thinks she’s doing something wrong. And think about it as a child, anytime you did something that you weren’t supposed to, or that supposed to, or that your parents didn’t want you to do, they would tell you no no, we don’t do that. Or no, don’t do that or stop doing that.

And when you say the words, no. When you say the word stop in your mind, it automatically puts this. Belief that you’re doing something wrong. And so I realized that by telling my daughter, no, in her mind, she was thinking she was doing something wrong. And at the end of the day, it’s not wrong to want chips for breakfast.

It’s not wrong for her to want that. It’s not wrong at all for her to want that. But in my household, chips are not a great choice for breakfast. But how could I get that? How could I shift her thought to chips are not a good choice for breakfast. How could I shift that thought without making her wrong?

And so the next time she came and said, mommy, I want chips for breakfast. I said, Emery Mae you know what girl I am just, I love you so much. And I’m so proud of you that you know exactly what you want. Most people don’t know that mommy doesn’t even know that sometimes mommy sometimes has no idea what she wants.

I just love Emery that you love, love, love to voice your opinion and that you know exactly what you want. That’s such a great, great thing. Please don’t ever lose that. However, Chips. Aren’t really a great choice for breakfast because we need to have energy to be able to run and play on the playground and chips.

Don’t really give you a lot of energy. So can mommy go pick maybe two or three things out and you can choose from them? You guys, it was game changer, game changer. she goes. Mommy. Thank you so much. You’re so nice. Yeah, let’s go pick out two or three things. Yeah. I can pick from two or three things I mean, she got excited because she had choices, right.

She had choices. And I basically, shifted her thought about chips for breakfast, but without making her wrong didn’t make her wrong. And I feel like this is something that we do not do well in marketing. We’re out there saying you’re doing this and you’re doing that. And you feel this and you feel that.

And basically making them wrong and kind of belittling them being like you don’t have the answers. You suck, everything you’re doing is wrong, but come invest in my program and I can help you do X, Y, and Z,

because here’s the thing. I teach this a lot in my content. And I talked about this on Saturday. The way we think our brains operate is we think that a situation will happen. And then we think that. Situation will cause a feeling. And then based off of that feeling, we want to, a lot of times that feeling is negative, right?

If that feeling is negative, we want to get away from that negative feeling. So we think, okay, if I take these actions or if I do this, then I’ll get blank result. This result. And then that will mean, or then I will think blank. So for example, if I buy this program, I will reach 10K 20K 30K months.

And then that will mean I’m successful. Or then I’ll think Facebook ads work, or then I’ll think blank, blank, blank, whatever. I’ll think I’m not doing anything wrong. We are always thinking in a, if this, then that, then that will mean scenario. We think that all the time, but that’s not actually how our brains work.

It’s not how our brains work, but this is what we’re being taught in marketing. We’re being taught. If they feel this way. If they feel this way, then you should poke into their pain points, make them see, they’re not, they’re not doing anything. Make them see that they’re missing something.

That’s another thing I hate making people feel like they’re missing something, making them feel like they’re missing something. And then they’ll buy your program. And then when they buy your program, it’ll mean. You have a good offer or it’ll mean your offer’s Great, whatever it is, that’s how we’re being taught.

That’s not how the brain actually operates. The way the brain actually operates is a situation will happen. And then we’ll have a thought about it. And then that thought will drive the feeling that feeling will drive the actions and then those actions will drive the results. And the result will always prove the thought, right?

Always prove the thought. Always. And this is not my model. This is the self coaching model, by Brooke Castillo and she’s phenomenal at it. I’ve kind of put my own little spin on it in a way. And I use it in content versus just mindset coaching, but that is how our minds actually operate.

So once I realized, this is how our brains operate, I started to be like, well, why are we selling on a negative emotion? Because if the thought is negative, we have a negative emotion. And the result is always proved by the thought, well, guess what? No matter what we do. If they still have that negative thought, they’re still going to get a negative result.

And I call this, if you have to convince them to it, we’ll have to convince them through it. You have to drag them to it. You’ll have to drag them through it. And how many of us have had clients who are freaking amazing at what they do, but they just have this thought, this negative thought. And they come into our programs and then we know they’re capable of getting amazing results, but they may even do the work, but they don’t actually get the results that they need.

And a lot of times it has nothing to do with strategy, right. It has nothing to do with strategy. It has everything to do with mindset, because if you’re always thinking I’m not good enough, guess what and everything you do, you’re going to prove that you weren’t good enough. Always. And so my way of thinking was like, Whoa, what if I actually go ahead and shift the thoughts in the content before they ever work with me?

So that way, when the clients come to me and want to work with me, they have an emotion of empowerment and emotion of heck yeah, I’m going to do this versus a feeling of desperation. And this mentality of. Ashley Mae has to save me. Oh my gosh. Ashley Mae’s program is the solution to all of my problems.

I don’t want to sell anyone that my program is a solution to their problem or the only solution to their problem. First of all, if you’re marketing and saying that your offer is the only solution to their problem, it’s a flat out lie But my, offer or my program could be a great solution to their problem, but it’s not the only one.

And I’m never going to say that ever, because it’s a lie, it’s not the only solution to their problem. It could be a great one. It could be the best one. It’s not the only one. And so I figured if we started to sell on the thought and shifting the thought in our content, Not only do we create a very positive feeling, but then we also bring in people who are ready to do the work and ready to see the results.

And they also are amazing clients to work with. There’s no more convincing them. They’re just going to be ready. And when I was speaking about this on Saturday, that’s what I said. I said, you need to stop trying to make your ideal clients wrong because when you’re selling on a negative emotion, you’re making them wrong so that you and your offer could be right.

Mind blowing. And when we, and even when we do that, what we’re doing is we’re making our ideal client help lists. We’re making them helpless, right? We’re always trying to say you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re not good enough. You’re doing everything wrong. You’re helpless.

We’re always making them helpless, but there is a huge difference between needing help and being helpless. I do. I can not speak our ideal clients need it help, but we can’t help someone who we have convinced is helpless. We market with that scarcity mindset, that negative emotion, all those negative crap we’re making our idol clients think that they’re helpless.

And the only way they’re going to get help. If they invest in us. And if their thought is I’m helpless, guess what? It doesn’t matter if you help them or not. They’re always still going to think I’m helpless, but we’re setting that up for them. We’re literally training them to think that way with how we market and it’s not okay.

Okay. We need to show our ideal clients. If the thought they have is not serving them, but without making them wrong. You cannot make your idle clients wrong. You need to show them that yes, they need your help, but that your help is not the only solution because you can’t, you can’t, they can’t help. You can’t help them until they first help themselves.

And if they think I’m helpless, guess what? They’re not going to help themselves. I hope that makes sense. And then when I started to even think about this concept, I started to think there are a couple of things that we do in this type of marketing that’s being taught in the world is that we either make our ideal client wrong.

We tell them that they’re helpless, or we tell them something that they already know.

And when we tell them something that they already know, but they aren’t taking action on it kind of goes back to the cycle of Williams. There’s something wrong with you because you’re not doing what you know, you need to be done. It’s not helping anyone telling someone that they’re wrong. And then saying, yeah, I’m right.

It’s not helping anyone. It just makes you look more like a bully than it does an authority. And I see this all the time in marketing. I hate it. I hate the sell on the pain points, dig into all the negative emotion and I hate it. It’s not okay. The thought will always come first. If you actually started to think, what are they thinking and how can I show them that thought is not serving them?

Woo man, that’s going to change everything because we all know as entrepreneurs it’s I don’t even want to say 80, 20. I want to say it’s 90% mindset, 10% strategy and any high-level entrepreneur. So many, I got to speak to so many, seven and eight figure entrepreneurs this weekend and or this past weekend.

And one of the things that they said was we keep it stupid, simple. We keep it, so, so, so simple. And on top of that, we’re always, always, always working on ourselves. Okay. Have to put your health and your awareness and everything first. And even this three day mastermind retreat, we did one hour of strategy the entire time.

The rest was digging into limiting beliefs and mindset, and really, and getting in touch with our different energies and all these things. I know it sounds super woo. Cause it totally was. And I was like so uncomfortable, but it was really great at the end, like even so like we had to do this exercise.

My husband came in on Wednesday actually and stayed for the public event. So he got to experience the first day, my husband is not an entrepreneur and he doesn’t know anything about the entrepreneurial world. He’s just very much so he’s an it security engineer. And so he is just very much though, like corporate, I do this, you know, all that.

And we had to do this exercise, but we had to go around and we had to describe our perfect day in very, very. Very specific detail. And so my husband got tied up with some other person, like we had to get a partner and do it. And I intentionally did not want to do it with my husband. Cause I was like, I want him to do this on his own.

So he went to over to somebody else and he started talking about this and it was just really funny because He was talking about his ideal day and he gets back when we’re done or whatever. And we sit down at the table and I was like, so how was it? And he was like, I feel so transformed.

No. It’s like, okay. And he’s, cause he doesn’t really do any minds that work. I mean, I’ll do some of it on him and he’s like, stop coaching me. But he said, I just feel so transformed. And I said, yeah. And he goes, well, I was talking to so-and-so and they were asking me questions and he was like, it made me dig a little bit deeper.

And I realized that. I’ve had this thought that I had to always follow the rules, which is hilarious. Cause he married a 1000% rule breaker. Was I know that like probably makes him so uncomfortable. And he was like, but I always felt like I had to follow the rules. Like you go to, you go. And he actually was in the military you’re out.

And he, he graduated high school, went into military and then went in after military being active for 10 years, he went into the national guard and then went back to school and graduated with his bachelor’s. But he was like, I always felt like I had to follow the rules he goes, but what he shifted my thought on was that he said, well, who makes the rules.

And he was like, Ashley, I don’t know who makes the rules. And I laughed so hard. I’m like, now, you know how exactly I feel? And he’s like, how do you know who makes the rules now? I’m like, you just as simple as that. And he thought, thought it was so crazy, but he just tells me, he’s like, wow, I get it now.

Like I get why you’re always wanting to like, meditate and yeah. Do all of these like mindset exercises and how you’re always like questioning me about things. Because I just, I feel like my entire he’s like, I don’t even know what’s going on. And it was actually funny because we were talking earlier today.

We have lunch. Together every single day. And we haven’t really had time to debrief because we have two small, small girls and so we got back on Sunday and we kind of like went right back into a whirlwind of, you know, working and getting the girls ready and like taking care of the girls and all that.

So today when we have lunch together he goes, babe, I just still feel so transformed, like, okay. And he goes, I realized that while I love what I do it doesn’t, it’s not what I see myself doing, like super long-term and he goes, and it feels really good to not fit into that box of this is how my life is supposed to be.

Yeah. Yes. I’m over here. Like he’s totally coming over to the mindset side. Right. But it’s just all that to say. It’s so crazy because it is a lot of 90% of entrepreneurship is mindset. And I feel like 10% is strategy. And it’s funny because I love, love, love, love, love strategy. But a lot of the times I have to show my clients that mindset is a strategy, but it’s also the strategy that comes first.

Like mindset has to come first. And so knowing that, like, why are we not shifting thoughts more in our content instead of selling on how to content or selling your negative emotions we’re selling on result based content? Why are we not selling on shifting the thought that they have that is holding them back?

And again, when you. Either try to make your idle client wrong, or you tell them what they already know, or you try to make them feel helpless. All that we’ll create is co-dependency, all that will create is a cycle of them looking to you as the savior, and then you jumping in and being their savior instead of their guide.

And then they become codependent on you. And guess what else happens? You ended up getting burnt out, you ended up getting resentful of your clients and frustrated. Like, I don’t understand. We, we coach about this every single week or we talk to this every single week. They’re not yeah. Doing it.

And then you make it mean that but you’re not a good coach or maybe you’re not explaining it well, or maybe they’re misunderstanding you. I don’t know anything right now. I’ve been there, done that burn the t-shirt as my friend, Katie would say right. I think I’m going to give you a real life example, just even in content.

This was such a good example. And I was like, ah, so I have one of the girls at my mastermind and she is a client. She is a physical therapist who specifically works with patients who have persistent concussion symptoms. And so she has a concussion clinic and so she helps patients overcome the symptoms of concussion or not even overcome them, but significantly reduce them.

And so she was talking to me, she’s like, I need to pick your brain for some messaging. Sure. Let’s, let’s go, and so she kept saying, well, we want to. Create a webinar that talks about helping you navigate your concussion symptoms. And then I sat there for a minute and she was, I said, so what’s what’s going on?

She said, well, when we did this webinar, last time, we got a lot of clients who really just created a very toxic environment and they started to come in and almost looking to us as the savior. I said, Hmm. Okay. So I started to look at, we started digging into more of their ideal client. I started to look at their, their languaging that they were using.

And I realized, you know, I asked, I said, well, what is what is the one thing that they’re, that they come in looking for? She’s like, they come in and they tell us all the time that no one understands them and no one can help them. And I said, Hmm, okay. I got it. I got it. So she was saying, we help you navigate your concussion , symptoms.

Here’s the word with navigate? It sounds awesome. Sounds like we’re going to help you, but when you’re helping someone navigate it, it means. That they have to be lost in the first place for you then to be able to navigate them. Like you don’t navigate anything that isn’t lost. So she was saying they were so lost on what to do.

And they were saying nobody can help me. And then she is using in her copy. We help you navigate your concussion symptoms. So if they’re coming in thinking I’m lost. And it’s making them feel frustrated. So then their action is, well, I’m going to buy her program because her program, if I buy her program that it should get any results, right.

The guests, what. Kept happening. She said they would come to the program and they were always saying, I feel so lost. I’m so confused. I don’t know what I should be doing. And she was like, so then we basically redid the curriculum, like 17 trying to help them. They don’t understand what they should be doing.

And so she was like, I just feel like we’re doing everything wrong. And I was just that word navigate you are drawing. Oh yeah. When clients think I’m completely lost. And again, their thought was I’m completely lost. And then they were coming in with their, I help you navigate saying, Oh, you’re lost here. We can help you.

But again, the client has to change the thought burrs. And they’re always saying, I feel lost, but then they think, well, if I buy this program, then I won’t feel lost anymore. That’s never, ever going to happen. Your mind is not working the, if this, then that. Mentality does not work. How many of us have always said, well, when I make a hundred thousand dollars, then I can only work 40 hours a week.

How many of us have had said that it is definitely not true, right? Or when I hit this milestone, then I’ll know I’m successful or then whatever. Does not work this way. So you know what we did, we said, okay. And I said, here’s another thing too. You’re also kind of making your ideal client wrong by saying, we help you navigate because you’re, they already know their loss.

And then you’re basically telling them like, yeah, you’re lost and you’re lost because you’ve done this, this, this, this, and this, but come take our program and we can help you navigate your concussion symptoms. And she didn’t do it in that energy by any means, but that is kind of what was going on in the subconscious level.

So we shifted, we actually shifted it and we said, we changed it to help you regain control of your life, who doesn’t, that sound so much better instead of saying, we help you navigate your concussion symptoms. It sounds very kind of negative, right? Like, Oh, I’m a lost soul and she’s going to help me.

Instead of saying of a feeling of empowerment, when you say we help you regain control of your life, like regain control because they do, they feel like they have no control from the life they had before their concussion. So we help you regain control that invokes a feeling of empowerment and their thought goes from, yeah, I may be lost.

However I can regain that control. It feels like a feeling of empowerment. It creates empowerment and hope over a well, this or over doubt and uncertainty. Cause when you’re saying I help you navigate, it makes them feel like doubtful and uncertainty. And they’re like, well, I mean, I guess I could try it and see what happens.

But again, they, they feel doubtful. They feel uncertain. And when she did that, she went from her goal was to have 1500 registrations for her webinar. And the last I talked to her, she had, I think almost, I think 1400 in three days. Yes. Three days guys, she 1400 signups in three days. How amazing is that? And she was saying that the people who were signing up.

We’re like so committed. She was like, Oh my gosh, they’re interacting in the Facebook group. They’re like ready. She was like, the energy. There is amazing. It’s not negative and complaining. It’s very much like, Oh my goodness. I cannot wait. You know, like all these things, it was just completely different turnaround, right?

Yeah.

From making her ideal client feel wrong. And putting all the responsibility on herself to get them the results, right? Like she’s almost kind of putting the results or responsibility to get them results on her. But when she went from that to putting the responsibility back on them and being like, yeah, you’re going to regain control of your life.

I can’t do it for you. You’re going to do it. And when she put the responsibility back on them and then giving them this feeling of empowerment. It completely shifted. So even small words like that, right. Like navigate sounds so great. But when you actually start to think about it, right.

It is a, it is a savior, a type of word, right? Of like, Oh, I’m going to help you do this, but you are going to attract the people who feel lost because the people who fill lost think, Oh, I need someone now we navigate. And you’re going to attract people who looks at you as the savior and not, not the guide.

Right. Whew. I know that was a lot thrown at you again. I told you this was festering for the past couple of days. It has been something that’s been on my heart for the past couple of days. And it’s something that I want to start screaming from the heavens maybe they have doubt, their doubt is not wrong, but how can you shift it?

To show them that, that doubt’s not really serving them, but without making them wrong again, very much similar my daughter with the chips, I’ll give you one last example and then I’m going to jump off because I do have a call, but this is the example that I used on Saturday and it feels, I feel really great about it because I do feel that I hear this all the time.

I hear, you know, something along the lines of, I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. How many times have we said that? Or how many times have you had a client say, I feel like I’m doing everything wrong or something around that nature. And I’m on with her thinking that’s cause y’all are doing everything wrong, right?

Like you are, but we don’t want to say that because that’s rude and it’s gaslighting and it’s not helpful and it’s making them wrong. Like sometimes that’s what we want to think. I’ll be honest. But you know, I had a client come to me and say that, and I said, Hmm, Actually, she’s not wrong. She’s not wrong for thinking that.

So how can I show her though, that, that thought’s not serving. So instead I said, she came to me and she said, ah, fuck, I’m doing everything wrong. And I said, well, first of all, can we just applaud that you’re taking action because you wouldn’t know everything was wrong. Unless you were taking action. So kudos to you because you care enough about your business.

You, you care enough about your clients. You care enough about the message and the gifts that you’ve been given to go out, actually take action, even though the result is not what you’d want. Can we just applaud that you did that? And then they’re, they’re feeling hurt. You know, her demeanor was like, heck yeah, I do go out and take action.

I was like, a lot of people don’t do that. I said, first, when we applaud that, if in second, What an amazing place to be, because here’s the thing when you’re doing all the wrong things, that just means you’re one closer to doing all the right ones. And two, you can just do the opposite of what you’re doing and it’ll be right.

And it was funny cause we all started laughing and she was, I had never thought of it that way. And I was like, yes, that’s my goal in life is for everyone to say, I never thought of it that way. But do you see how I. I shifted that thought. And again, that thought wasn’t true. She was not doing everything wrong.

And again, a lot of the times it’s just a feeling. It’s not fact, right? We feel like we’re doing everything wrong, but it’s not a fact. But I had to shift that thought. I made like a different thought about her thought so that she could see that, that she wasn’t wrong. There was nothing, there is nothing wrong with thinking.

I’m doing all the things wrong. I can’t tell her that she’s wrong for thinking that I just had to show her that there’s a different way to think. And I had to put it in a different person perspective and it changed everything. So moral of this podcast of this story, whatever is that you have to stop making your clients wrong in your content, in your marketing, whatever you’re doing.

Stop making your ideal clients wrong so that you can be right or that your offer can be right. You have to stop doing that. It’s never going to create what you want it to create. And it does not make you look like an authority and makes you look like a bully and it creates codependent relationships.

And it makes you look like the savior instead of the guide. And you were not put on this earth to be the savior. We’re not supposed to be saviors. We’re supposed to be guides. So yeah, there you have it. I told you I was gonna get a little ranty with this one. I didn’t get as ranty as I thought I would, but Hey, I got a little ranty and that’s okay.

But I hope that this podcast was really enlightening for you. I hope that it Yeah, I hope that it made you stop and think for a minute. That’s my goal, right? And this is exactly what I do with my clients. I help them create this type of content that shifts their clients’ minds and not, you know, trying to sell them on a negative emotion and bringing in those clients who are a perfect fit.

And having them be in a heart-centered authority. I want to say that heart-centered authority in their space by the content that they create. So, yeah. That’s it. You guys, I hope that you have an amazing rest of your day and I’ll catch you. On the next episode. Bye.