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Are You Believing This Marketing Lie? – Ep.028
There is one phrase in the marketing world that is widely known that might actually be working against you. In this episode, Ashley breaks down the subconscious downfalls of believing this statement and how it is keeping you from creating content that attracts your ideal clients.
In this episode, Ashley breaks down the following:
Hello, everyone. I just wanted to give you a heads up that the episode you are about to listen to is actually an episode from a previous podcast that I used to have with my business partner, Rachel. But the episode was so good that I asked her if I could repurpose it for this podcast. And of course she said, yes.
So I just want you to know that the podcast you’re about to listen to will have both me and Rachel on it. And the sound is not the best. I recorded this when I first moved to my new house and my office was pretty much a bear. So it is a little echo-y. I have turned on studio sound to try and alleviate that sound quality.
However. The episode is still good. It’s still juicy. So dive on in, and I will see you at the. End of the. episode. All right. What is the topic today? I’m so excited. . The topic is, I will actually, I’m gonna start this off because I sent Rachel, all of our conversations go, I sent Rachel a boxer and I was like,,, I just absolutely do not agree with this. And um, I just, I was, I literally, it was like 10 o’clock at night my time and I couldn’t sleep cuz I was getting emotionally charged and fired up about it.
And I was , I have to go tell Rachel right now. And I’m literally laying in bed, texting. About this on Voxer and basically what came up for me is, I’ll just give you a little back of back text of it, is I’m currently working with my coach and we are, he’s going through a whole new offer about teaching people how to create their signature speeches when they speak on stages.
He basically perfect timing, reached out. Say, Hey, I’m actually gonna be doing this kind of beta program. I’m gonna let some of my clients come in. Would you be interested? Yes, absolutely. So anyways, we get on this and it’s a group and there are just brilliant people in there.
And I was on there and they were giving me feedback on my topic cuz I was really, in my head, I was feeling really confused about what do I actually wanna talk about? What does the topic need to be? And one of them on there said something, a normal marketing phrase that I have heard, and I know you’ve heard 50 million times, but for some reason, When she said it, it hit me that I actually do not agree with this.
There are nuances to it, but I just do not agree with this. And it was basically the, she said, Ashley, you need to sell them what they want and then give them what they need.
I get the intention behind it. The intention is not to be bamboozled, right? That’s not the intention behind that original phrase. However, I have realized now knowing the subconscious brain, knowing the energy behind things, knowing this, I just was like,,, this is too much of a generalized statement because people will take it in so many different ways.
And I’ve realized that the way that it’s normally taken, I don’t align with. And so I literally started thinking about it later that night and I was ,, Rachel, I do not agree with this marketing phrase. And so that’s what we’re gonna talk about today because I’ll even say, I was so heated, heated up about it.
I went and posted it on Facebook. I also went and posted it on TikTok and I had so many different, I had a ton of people being ,, oh my God, yes. This is never set well with me either. Blah, blah, blah. And then I also had some other people being no high level people don’t wanna think about it.
It was just all just array of messages. And I was like,, you know what? This is a great podcast topic because Rachel, when I was sending her teachers like,, you know what? I agree with you. I don’t really like it either. And I was like,, well, let’s state why we don’t like it and talk about why we don’t like it.
And maybe elaborate a little bit on a podcast episode. So if someone’s talking about it and say, oh, here, go listen to our episode where we talked about it. So I’m just gonna jump in Rachel, since I’m already talking. Ah. And I’ll say why I didn’t like it. And then you can , if you wanna add anything to it.
So this is what it came up for me in my mind. When you say sell them what they want, give them what they need, you are subconsciously saying, my client is not smart enough, or empowered enough to know what they need. And then you are saying, and because they want what they want isn’t what they need.
Therefore, what they want is wrong. And I need to sell them what they want, trick them, give them what they want, and then on the back end actually deliver what they need because they don’t know what they need. And I just find that so disempowering because the way that Rachel and I teach marketing, especially ideal client, and I even wanna ask you this I’m not even gonna say how we teach.
I’m gonna ask this question and if you’re listening, I really want you to think about this. How much. Easier. Would it be if your client was already problem aware and solution aware? Problem aware would be what they need. Solution aware would be what they want, right? They problem, let’s say they aren’t making money is the problem.
Say that’s the problem. They’re not making money. What if that was your person? And they’re like,,, I don’t understand why.
Someone who just understands the problem, but they don’t understand why they have the problem or they don’t understand the solution to the problem is not a very empowered client to work with. Because guess what? They’re literally going to be coming to you confused because. You are messaging by saying sell them what they want.
Give them what they need. You’re literally telling them, oh, sorry, you’re confused cuz you have no idea what it is that you need. . So you’re literally setting that up for them to be confused. But let’s say your client understands I’m not making the money that I want and I fully know that it is a marketing problem.
I understand that my marketing or my messaging is not bringing in clients consistently. They understand that it, and even going even nor nuanced, they understand it. Cuz we, I hate this word. I hate this word but I’m gonna say it here cause I don’t know what other, say word to say it, but they understand leads, right?
They don’t have a consistent number of leads or potential clients coming in. I just don’t like that word leads. Me and Rachel really don’t like that word, but I just didn’t know how to say it anyway. Different in this point. All right. So they understand. I’m not making money because I just don’t have enough potential clients in my vicinity, in my field.
Therefore, and the reason why I’m not attracting them is because my marketing and my messaging is off. So you and me, Rachel, as our marketing coaches wouldn’t it be so much easier to work with someone who understands both the problem and the solution? So then when you’re talking in your content and in your messaging, you’re not having to convince them that the solution is marketing or convince them that solution is a clearer message.
You wouldn’t have to convince them. And so for me, that’s what that phrase means is knowing if you’re selling them what they want and giving them what they need, it’s disempowering. Because you’re literally telling them, oh, you just, you’re just not educated or smart enough to understand what it is that you need and why can’t, what they want and what they need be the exact same thing.
In my brain, it should be the same thing. If you are working with clients, and this is, and I had a few people, I’m , I’m getting ahead of myself. My brain’s operating a lot faster than my mouth. I had this one guy on the Facebook post, right? I was telling Rachel write this two to three paragraph long thing where he basically was telling me that wasn’t true.
Because you had to educate people. And that you needed to educate them. And pe there’s so many people don’t know what it is that they need and therefore you need to educate them on what they need. I want to call bullshit. Do you really need to, or can you just. Start to position your messaging and your marketing to already talk to the person who understands the solution.
Wouldn’t that be so much easier? Wouldn’t that be so much easier? And this is what you can do. You wouldn’t be wasting a ton of time talking to people who don’t understand. It’s literally you trying to convince people what it is that you do, right? And then here’s the thing, and when you’re that clear, when you’re that specific on your ideal client, you will attract them like magnets because they feel so seen and heard on a specific level, and you can get so nuanced.
Into the problems that you’re solving, right? You can get so nuanced and even being specific. This is part of our five A method, right? When we get to idle client, we go through your five A. When we talk about your assets, your idle client’s assets, we talk about their previous actions, we talk about their abilities, their current awareness, and then their what, their attractions.
So what are their desires? What are their emotional addictions, all that. But this is part of the assets piece is that what do they already have in place? So this whole example of I’m not making money and I know it’s my marketing and I know that it’s my leads. Okay. It’s a lot easier for us if they’ve already had leads coming in before, right?
If they already have previous clients. So then we can look at. What did you like about these clients? What didn’t you like about these clients? And then let’s look at the messaging that you were present, that you were presenting to them, and why you were calling in clients that weren’t a perfect fit, and why The ones that you , how did you get the ones that were a perfect fit?
What were you saying? And then the messaging gets so much clearer because then you realize, oh, I was speaking to the client that wasn’t a great person because you probably were giving them what they want and then bamboozling them with what they needed, but then they weren’t receptive to it.
Oh my God. Okay. That’s another rant. I’m, I promise I’m almost done, Rachel. I’ll turn it over to you. Last thing I wanna say is this, when you do that, your clients are more difficult to work with because they do feel cheated. They feel confused. And I bet some of you guys listening to this have come to the aha moment of, holy crap, I have done this with my clients and this is why I’ve had clients who don’t show up and do the work.
Or they show up and do the work and they fight you the entire time, right? They show up to the calls because they are trying to get what they came for. But then they, the whole time they’re resisting your process. They’re resisting your method because it’s not aligned with them. I’m done. . Over to you, Rachel.
Sorry. That was No, I love all of that. That was, I I actually had you took the words right outta my mouth and four different things I literally had written down. So I just, yeah. , I’ll just reiterate them with my perspective, the first thing that I wrote down is that, yeah, the whole idea of bamboozling them , which is just such a funny term in general, but I think a lot of people in the industry, and I am, I’m using industry loosely, but also I think it, we see it a lot in the quote unquote coaching industry because that is, there’s a little bit fewer tangibles in the coaching industry versus, in a product-based industry or in a service-based industry.
Yeah you’re buying my time to create a web, a website for you. There’s not a whole lot of, ability to bait and switch type thing. But I think that it, number one, Selling people what they want and giving them what they need or trying to, I’ve heard it be said in this way of sneak in what they need kind of thing.
And if there’s any part of you that’s thinking, I need to sneak this in to help my clients, I think that right there is a red flag. And this entire idea, I think really breaks the trust that you have with so many areas. And trust is huge. Trust with yourself. I think it, it subconsciously breaks your own trust, breaks that bond that you have with yourself and your deep self-trust.
Because if you are selling them, say, telling people in your marketing, in your messaging, Hey, this is what you want, and then you are. Also thinking I know it’s what they want, but it’s not what they need, so I need to make this sound really good and manipulate it and then try to give them something else.
You are subconsciously breaking your own trust and saying that to yourself that I am wrong, that I don’t actually know them. I don’t actually know my clients and I don’t actually know what they want because if they, what they want and what they need are not congruent. It’s just you’re telling yourself that you don’t actually trust yourself to D that one. There are people that want and need the thing that you have and that you have to reposition it, and I think it’s really breaking that bond of trust with your clients too. Because what I wrote down, which was what, similar to what you just shared, Ashley, was that your clients, the clients that buy.
When you sell with that mentality, when you market and sell with that idea of sell them what they want, give them what you need and give them what they need, the clients don’t get results. Just what you said, they’re not receptive. And when they don’t get results, they are, they’re, they lose trust with themselves.
They question themselves and they, then they keep asking, what is wrong with me? Yes. So this is what happens. Yeah. Here’s another new one here. So good. You break trust with yourself as the coach, as a service provider, as the whoever you break trust with yourself in your marketing and your marketing breaks trust with the client.
So the client, you are breaking trust with you and the client because they’re thinking, wait a minute. I am buying this thing from this person I trust because they’re talking about the problem that I have and I want to solve this problem. And then I get in this container and everything is totally different.
And is it solving my problem? Yeah, I guess it might be solving my problem, but not in the way that I wanted it to. And then that’s breaking trust with the client and the provider or the coach or whoever. Because they’re thinking I trusted you cuz you seemed like you knew me. You seemed like you understood me. You, your marketing made me feel seen and heard and understood. But then I get in this container, and it’s maybe not the exact opposite, but I see so often where people feel jaded or people feel taken advantage of in the industry because they’re marketed to in a way that they do feel seen and heard and understood.
Because the person’s only talking about what they want, which is usually the problem, right? Yeah. They want to solve this problem. So they’re talking about the problem. I help you solve this problem, I help you solve this problem. Perfect. But you said, they’re not talking about the actual solution.
and that solution is gonna differ. And so people, then you break that trust and then, yeah, going back to the client breaking trust with themselves, then they start to question everything. , they start to question of, wait, I’m not getting results. And then they’re getting probably mad and frustrated at themselves.
Probably mad and frustrated at the coach or the service provider or whoever. And there’s probably some bitterness that comes up as well, which is not, the emotion that we want people to be feeling when they’re working with us. We don’t want them to feel bitter that they bought something and they were sold, or they received something different.
And can I add something in really quick too, because this is a circle thing, because then yes, this is gonna be very controversial, but I’m gonna say it, but then that coach and I’m talking about coaches here specifically. Yeah. But then usually that coach turns around and they’re like,,, they were just a bad client.
, right? Then they , yep. Make that client wrong and they don’t take the responsibility for it. Yes. And I wanna say they, they don’t do it intentionally. I wanna say this too, that this is usually a subconscious pattern is because they’re just doing what they’ve been taught.
, right? The coach is just doing what they’ve been taught and what all these people in the industry are ,, this works for me. So it’s this continual pattern. And so they’re the first to be like,, well, they weren’t a good client. I don’t wanna attract bad clients X, Y, Z, right? Yeah.
And yeah, then it comes into it comes back into the cycle. And I also wanna add is that sometimes the actual client. They might not lose, yes, they subconsciously will lose trust with that coach, but they also sometimes don’t, sometimes they just immediately, like you said, internalize it on them and they keep perpetuating that.
What’s wrong with me? Yes, I’m confused. I can’t make this work. Whatever. And so it’s not them actually being like,, that coach was bad, but then what ends up happening is they continue to coach with that coach thinking that , oh, it’s just gonna hit one day. It’s just gonna click for me one day.
Because that’s what coaches are doing. They want long-term clients. And so it’s the client will just keep investing in coaching and coaching and coaching again, because in their mind it’s oh, eventually I’ll find the problem. Yeah. Yeah. No, that’s so true.
And I actually know I. I think we all know people who have done this, but I am thinking of, and I’m not gonna name any names or anything, it’s not relevant, but I know people that are, and coaches specifically, that are making millions of dollars and just discovered this pattern that the, what they need was actually different than what the coach was, their coach was delivering.
And they invested for years and years, hundreds and thousands of dollars with their specific coach because they thought that they should need that thing that the coach was delivering. Ooh. When really what they actually didn’t need that. And I think the important thing to recognize here is that if you are as a buyer, as a client, if you know what you want and you know what you need, If you see someone’s marketing and they’re telling you, here’s what problem I help you solve, here’s how I help you solve it.
It’s no longer a dramatic thing. It can be a very neutral decision and fully respectful on both sides of, oh, interesting. So you help me solve that problem, but I don’t love how you help me solve it. Okay, moving on. I wish you all the best. You’ll find people that are good for you. I’ll find someone that’s good for me.
And there’s no animosity, there’s no forcing myself into a box or forcing the coach to change their methodology if that to fit what I need. It’s just it’s just not the right match to that puzzle piece. And that doesn’t have to be a problem, but I think that people are making it a problem because it’s so common where people are , not, again, going back to that idea of when you were talking about.
Just selling to people who are problem aware and solution aware. I was thinking about I don’t know if this is an exact terminology, but this idea of the stages of buyer awareness kind of thing and thinking about, if someone’s at a stage one, they literally don’t even know that they have a problem.
They’re just living their life with their problem and it’s not a problem because they don’t know . Yeah. And then when they get to that stage two, they are aware that they have a problem, but they don’t really know what to do. They don’t even know if they really wanna solve the problem. Stage three.
And I could be, there’s nuances here, but. Just generally speaking, stage three is they know that they have a problem and they’re actively looking for solutions, but they don’t know what solution they want yet, but they know that this problem is there. Stage four is this idea where they know that they have this problem, they’re actively searching a solution, and they have found, they’re pretty sure that they’ve found the solution that they want, they know how they want to solve this problem.
. And then stage five is they know exactly what their problem is. They know exactly what solution they want to try and this buyer awareness kind of stage. Can change as they evolve too. They might try a solution and then realize that it wasn’t the solution that they wanted and then get more awareness, which is perfect.
But that stage five is they’re fully aware of problem of solution and they’re actively ready to hire someone to solve that problem in the way that they want their problem solved. Yeah, and I think a lot of people are marketing to. Not stage one, but I think a lot of people are marketing and trying to sell to people in stage two and three, and even in, in stage four a little bit.
Trying to convince them because those people are deep in the problem. They’re deep in the problem, but they’re not deep in the solution in what I mean by that is they haven’t really figured out what solution they even wanna try. And so that’s when it feels they get really bamboozled because they’re deep in the emotion of the problem.
And so then they’re willing to just buy anything. And then coaches or people are coming in and saying, Hey, I know what you want. This is what you want. Buy this thing. And they’re , okay I’ll buy this thing. But it’s not even, they don’t know what they need. And so instead, thinking about for all of you, for anyone marketing , If you want to work with the best clients who not only want to work with you to solve their problem, but want to work with you, with how you, your unique, differentiated way of solving their problem that maybe they haven’t tried before, or maybe they have and they just want to take it deeper if they’re excited about hypnotherapy versus just mindset coaching.
Or if they want to lose weight and they love yoga. Yeah. If you’re selling yoga, cool. Yeah. They know that. And so selling to the people that are in that stage four and then stage five, I think stage four is still you’re building that trust and warming them up Maybe. To understand that they know the problem, they know the solution.
And now it’s that gap between stage four and stage five is okay, I know I want to make money. I know I want to work on my marketing to do that. I know that these are my problems, these are my solutions. Now do I wanna work with Ashley and Rachel and Unbound, or do I wanna work with this coach?
Or do I want exactly, have a little more spiritual approach to it? Or do I want more? Do I, then it’s the who that they’re buying from. It’s not the what anymore. That’s exactly where I was gonna go. I was , literally, you could see me, I’m biting my tongue over
I can’t wait to see, because guess what? When you actually know your ideal client that clearly, and you’re marketing to that person, think about how much easier your marketing and messaging will be. If your only job then, if you’re speaking to someone who’s solution aware, Who’s problems aware and solution aware, then your job turns into not trying to educate them on the solution.
, job comes into how you do it differently, right? Yeah. Then it becomes just an energetics thing. Do I jive with Ashley and Rachel or do I jive with so-and-so? Right? , yeah, that’s it. So you have that means your job as a marketer, as an entrepreneur is to just show up as you. Yes.
And then on top of that, you don’t have to educate people on the how. You just get to show up and talk about how you do it differently. . , right? It’s J you just get to show up and share. How much fun is that ? You don’t have to be a teacher, , you literally can just show up and share and.
Yeah, your job is to just show, I wrote down your job is just to show up and talk about how, and then show them how , right? That’s it. That’s your only job. And it’s to also just show up as you, because you’re no longer trying to convince someone that this a problem. A, actually I’ve used this example a really long time ago on a podcast when I did it by myself.
I with the, with my old podcast, and I used the example of someone being a, Instagram marketing strategist and okay, solution is, you want to get more clients on Instagram, right? And let’s say this particular Instagram marketer was their specialty was teaching you how to do reels, Instagram reels.
Now you know your problem. I need more. I need more clients. Your solution is, I need more clients for Instagram. I even want to I’m trying to make this even more nuanced and specific. They could be solution aware of oh, I need a marketing strategy for Instagram, right? That is a solution.
However, now you, let’s pretend to step you into the marketing. You’re the Instagram marketing coach and your specialty is reels. Now, you don’t need to be showing up and being ,, you should market on Instagram. It’s the best way to get client. No. The only thing you need to be marketing about is reels.
That way when that client who knows the problem and the solution, right? They are problem, solution aware. They’re not gonna hire you and then be ,, oh, I don’t showing my face on Instagram. No, no, no, No. I don’t want to do reels. They’re going to have an incongruency with you if you are just showing up and we see, I see this all the time.
It’s this Instagram marketing coach. Then, Whose specialty is reals, right? They’ll get on there and they will just try to convince everybody. They just need to be marketing on Instagram. Your problem is you’re not getting leads on Instagram. I can help you get leads on Instagram, but you’re not telling me how.
You’re not actually talking about your process. And so that way when you know your client so specific, right? You want someone to be already on board with Hey, I’ve been trying reels and I’ve gotten a few clients here and there, but I know I can make it better. And you have been talking all about how to make amazing reels.
I’ve tried a few of your free tips and I , it’s, I wanna work with you. Those are two very different people. But that’s how nuanced you can get. And I wanna say, when I did post about this, I had, I literally had someone on TikTok. I sent it to Rachel and I’m , what does this even mean?
Cause I didn’t realize cause she said this is a nd speaking to an ND NT don’t want. They just want things done for them. And I’m , what the flip is an ND and an nt? And then I realized oh, neurodivergent. And then so she was saying basically this message that I was speaking was a neurodivergent marketing to a neurodivergent.
And that neurotypical people don’t, they don’t want that. They just want someone to do it for them. But even in that scenario, you would still want someone who is problem and solution aware, especially if you were doing it for them because how hard would it be?
I’m gonna use another example cause I’m an example person and let’s say you are an email marketing strategist and you write emails, you literally take over the copywriting for a client’s emails, right? How much easier would it be if your client was like,, Hey, my problem is I’m not making money with my emails solution is I know it’s copywriting.
I know that my messaging is off within my emails. They know that’s the solution. And now you do exactly that. How much easier would it be to work with a client who understands that it’s the copywriting and the messaging problem versus someone who’s oh, my emails aren’t selling.
And you’re ,, oh, okay, I can help you get more clients with your emails. Then you start working on the messaging copywriting and they come back and they’re , no, I think we just need to send more emails. I think we just need to send out five emails a day versus the one that I’ve been sending out a day.
And then you have to keep telling them, no, it’s a messaging and a copywriting issue, blah, blah, blah. You don’t have funnel set up. just think we need to send more emails. You’re gonna fight them tooth and nail and you’re gonna, and then everything that you do for them as that service provider, they’re not going to appreciate and they’re gonna fight because they don’t think that the solution you’re offering them is the solution that they need.
Yeah. We are marketing coaches and we’re not sitting here on this podcast telling people that they need better marketing, more clear messaging, that they need to work on their mindset in order to put it all together.
We’re not telling people that alone is the solution. Because if you’re listening to this podcast, you already know that you want more clients, you want more money, you want more consistent clients. And you know that the path to that is getting more clear on your marketing, on your messaging, working on your mindset to, Connect all of those things showing up powerfully online, getting more visible, all of those things, you already want those things.
And you know that those are the solutions that you are wanting right now, we’re not sitting here telling you, top five reasons to get more visible I’m gonna even add that on because our people don’t have a visibility problem. Yeah. I even wanna say that.
They don’t, and that’s how nuanced we get, right? Yeah. Our people don’t have a problem selling every single one of you listening, who is an ideal client. Totally. If you’re listening to this, you don’t have a problem selling. You could sell ice to an Eskimo because every single one of our clients has come to us and they’re like,, yeah, I can literally get on a sales call.
And they’re, I , I close every sales call basically if they’re a good fit. And, or I can be in an event and I immediately I can sign client when I’m face-to-face with them. They don’t have a problem making sales. So if we got on here, I started talking about. Sales. And being , here’s how you can make more sales.
They would not resonate with it because they’re , oh, I know how I don’t have a sales problem. , my problem is actually speaking to the perfect fit clients. Yes. It’s nuance and getting so specific and nuance. So yeah, you’re right Rachel. We’re not gonna sit here and be , here’s five reasons why you should, uplevel your marketing.
Here’s five reasons why you should market more. No, we’re not gonna do that because I use this example all the time and I think it’s perfect. It’s an email marketing strategist telling people that email marketing is not dead. And we’ve heard that. How many times have you heard that term, Rachel?
In the marketing world, email marketing is not dead. If you have to tell someone that email marketing is not dead, they are not your ideal client. As an email marketing strategist, if you have to convince people that email marketing is not dead, you’re doing it all wrong, you are beating a dead horse.
In Yeah. No, and I call that Doug content. I get very spicy on this because if I read someone’s content and they’re trying to convince people that they need the solution that they offer, I literally am just like,, duh. If I would have read email marketing is not debt. I wanna be duh. But I, this is a teaching moment for if you’re listening to this, run everything that you write, run all of your messaging and your marketing content through this filter that Ashley’s talking about, the Dove filter.
This can be a tool that you use in your own messaging and marketing toolkit of, okay, I’m writing a piece of content, and then go read it back. And if any time to yourself, you are thinking about your ideal client or you’re thinking about past clients who were an amazing fit and got really great results, would that person say Duh, and then keep scrolling.
Run your content. You can do that today. After you finish listening to this podcast. Go write a piece of content that speaks directly or that you know in your best attempt to speak directly to your ideal client, knowing that they are problem aware and that they are solution aware, and that the solution that you offer is the solution that they want and need.
Go write a piece of content and if anywhere in there you say, duh, or my people already know this, then that is a really simple way to, to shift and to really think about, okay, how can I speak more directly to my person and then not have any of the convincing energy in here because it’s so sneaky that convincing energy, it’s so sneaky.
Random little words or phrases that, or just the energy. If someone’s reading that and they’re , I’m gonna tie it back to what we’ve been talking about. A lot of people who go into marketing with that thought of, I need to give them what they want because they, you are basically as the seller, if you’re going in with the thought, sell them what they want, give them what they need.
You are literally even thinking that they don’t want what I have. Yes. Think about that for a second. Your underlying subconscious thought is they don’t want what they need and I have what they need. So then you will create content that speaks to someone who is at a, and I hate to say this lower level, high level, I don’t like it, but you’re going to speak to someone who is at a lower level.
And what I mean by lower level is not fully equipped with all of the things that they need to be equipped with to make them the best fit for your offer. Yeah. It’s just on that buy, that’s the stages of the buyers, right? They’re maybe just at a different number. They’re just not at a five, which they need to be to be a perfect fit for you.
They’re may be at a two or a three and you’re just Yeah. Accidentally, right? Subconsciously speaking to them and this is what we call our five A method, right? It is breaking it down to the five things that your ideal clients need to have.
And it’s based off of path clients that you’ve had, but it’s also getting down to the nitty gritty and when you are speaking to that person based off of that five A method, right? It’s the assets, the actions, the abilities, awareness, and the attractions.
I can do a whole podcast episode on this. I probably should. As I, I do know, every time I’ve talked about the five A method on any other podcast I’ve ever been on, people were , oh, I’ve never thought of it that way. Fast days, I should probably do a podcast episode on it. But that is getting so nuanced, they’re not gonna have the assets they need to have in place, and it’s not, it’s gonna make it a lot harder for them to get the results that, they’re capable of.
If it’s we’ve used the example a lot, the GPS example. It’s like you are the, you know, the final destination and you have the directions there. But the person you’re talking to doesn’t know where they’re at. . let’s imagine you’re on the phone once with, I’m gonna, I literally just wanted to go real southern real quick.
You on the phone with Paw Paul, right? That’s literally what came up into my heads. I’m gonna go Southern for a hot second. You’re on the phone with Paw Paul and Paw Paul’s driving to your new house, , and you know the directions to get to your new house and you know where your new house, you have the address, right?
You have the address of your new house and you know the whole city you know every road in the city. But you’re asking Papa Paul, where are you? And he said, I don’t know. I can’t see where I’m at. I’m on a, I’m on a random road that doesn’t have a name. You cannot tell them the directions. You can’t tell Papa the direction to get to your new house because he doesn’t know where he is at.
Yes, exactly. So this is your client. You have to know exactly where they got and when I, and I don’t mean just what street they’re on, you need to know. What street they’re on, what car they drive, how much gas is in their car. I’m using all these examples, right? You have to get super specific because what if he on a fourth of tank and it’s gonna take him three fourths of a tank to get to your house from where he is at and he has to go to the gas station.
So now you know, you he, you gotta take him a route that’s gonna get him to the gas station. You know what I’m saying? You have to know the specifics. Yes. And the specifics are R five A method. I’m , I’m really liking that example real quick. Paw don’t get to your house. Ok. You every word that you’re saying now has a thicker southern accent.
Oh, paw said paw. I love that paw. It’s actually funny. My daughter Emory and my husband’s best friend’s mom, that sounds so weird. But my husband’s with her mom is freaking amazing. I love her so much. And she lives in the mountains, so every time we go to the mountains we stop and we see her and she loves my kids so much.
And so anyways, a long time ago she got Emery, this little toy, it’s a little dog kennel on and it had a little dog inside of it. And I think Emery was like two. And so I obviously like, what do you wanna name it? And she’s like, paw. And so literally no joke, , like , we, we still have this little stuffed animal.
We still have a little carrier. Claire now plays with it. My other daughter who’s two now plays with it. But it’s always Paw and it’s, we say it just that cute pop and so Yes. That’s It’s a little white dog. No, it’s a little brown dog. It’s a little pink carrier. We have that too.
And Kennedy, I also have a daughter who’s five. She named her as Cowy . Cowy. Oh, that’s funny. But I, it’s just funny. We’re , why you doing Paw Paw? Cause she’s , that’s cute. Pauls, Pauls, you know , it’s got puppy paws and I heard busted out laughing so now it’s Paw. So that’s where that came from.
I had to pull out the Love it, the North Carolina thick southern accent paw Paul. But I hope you guys get that scenario. That’s what we’re saying is, yeah. And the more specific, cuz here’s the thing. You could give Paw Paul directions. But he might break down the side of the road. He might be , turn left, turn right.
But he might not get to your house if you don’t know exactly where he is at. He could be, or I’m gonna give it, I’m literally gonna take this another level. He might be like,, I’m sitting outside the Walmart, but there’s two Walmarts in town. You know what I’m , or I’m sitting outside the grocery store and there’s 10 grocery stores.
You need to know what grocery store, right? So you have to get specific oh, is it the Lowe’s Foods or the Harris Teeter on Main Street? Or is it the Harris Teeter on Loop Drive? I don’t know. So you have to get super specific and this is what we mean. And when you do get super specific, it makes everything better cuz you’re not having to, the word I love bamboozle yourself.
I’m literally, you’re bamboozling yourself because you’re bringing your clients who aren’t a perfect fit. You don’t have to bamboozle yourself or bamboozle your clients into giving them what they want. And then . Sprinkling in something else, right? Giving them sprinkling out what they need when they’re problem and solution aware.
It makes your content so much more potent. It makes, it, makes it so much easier for you to market. Yeah. Because all you’re doing is just sharing showing up and sharing. And now that, that, instead of, okay, instead of your ideal client, instead of the client now trying to decide what is the solution to my problem, you’ve eliminated so many decisions for them.
Cause they already know Hey I have this problem. I’m looking for this solution. Now all your job is to show them how you implement that solution, how you do it, how you do it better. then you’re not like in competition with anybody else. You’re not like,, oh, they’re right, or I’m right, they’re wrong.
I don’t ,, this is how I do it better. You’re not doing it better. You’re showing them how you do it differently. Yeah. . Which is completely different energy. You you have a lot less A lot less resentment showing up. Because you’re wanting to show up. Yeah. Because the people you’re talking to actually understand and get you too. Yeah. Imagine if you showed up and you shared and everybody was like,, oh my God, I’ve never thought of that way. That was brilliant. Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to work with you. This is incredible.
Exactly what I needed to hear. What if those were your people versus crickets? Or I’m gonna say this too cause I’ve said this on a podcast a long time ago and someone actually DMed me and was like,, you dropped that bomb on the podcast and that ended up sharing it. They’re , that was so pivotal for me.
Because what happens when you’re doing following this rule of give them what they want or tell them what they want. Give them what they. You’re thinking you need to educate them and you need to convince them. You will tend to create a lot of DIY content. And what I mean by that is how to content, right?
You’re showing them how to market on Facebook, how to blah, blah, blah, right? You’re doing that, but how to content, listen up. How to content will only attract a d I Y person. . Think about when you go to YouTube, you and you watch a YouTube video, are you gonna hire that person to do what they’re telling you to do in that video?
Are you gonna try to do it yourself? Yeah. How to build your own office desk. And you’re , okay, cool. Thank you person. Now I will go to Lowe’s and buy my supplies and Contenty Stop. Stop delivering how to. The reason why people fall back on the educational and how-to content is because they don’t believe that their people are 100% convinced that they need what they’re offering.
, you have to educate someone who’s uneducated. I want you to think about that, which means uneducated means they’re not willing to buy what you have because they don’t think they need it. Yeah. I really want you to think about that for a second. Anytime someone’s showing up with educational content, it’s because they think that their clients that are their people and their audience don’t know how frustrating it is.
It to try to convince someone of something I really want you to think about that. What if you know something and you are trying so hard to convince them and they just don’t, it’s okay, I’m gonna throw religion in here for a second. It’s trying to convince an atheist that Christianity is the best of all religion.
Imagine how that conversation is gonna go. Can you just think about that for a second? That’s the best conversation I can think of. Think of a diehard Christian trying to convince an atheist of Christianity. I’m sure you’ve seen these conversations before. Or the opposite. Try taking an atheist, trying to convince a Christian that there’s no God, I really want you to try to think about that for a second.
Imagine how frustrating that would be for you. There would be so much resistance. Yeah. And you would think you needed to educate them, right? Of all your points of view and all of that, but it’s still not gonna be well received and that’s what you’re doing, right? Educational content will always attract a do-it-yourself person or per someone who ignores you.
Yeah. And it’s because they’re ignoring you cuz they don’t like you. It’s and this is something the last thing that I’ll add is that it’s not cuz they’re ignoring you cuz they don’t you or something’s wrong with you or whatever. They just aren’t understanding. They’re just not at the same level as you.
And not level of someone’s better or worse than the other person. But aware they just aren’t Yeah. Aware. They are just misunderstanding because they just don’t have the same level of awareness and that is not a problem. We just don’t have to market to them. . Yeah. And so that’s what we’re saying guys, we’ll wrap this up cuz we could talk about this forever.
Obviously we get heated, but that’s what we’re saying and I get it. I don’t wanna I’m not saying that this whole statement is just wrong in general. There are some people who. It’s use it more of a positioning statement of okay, yeah, they really want this, and they don’t understand the nuances of what they need.
So , when they get into my program, there will be some nuances. I understand we’re not saying that anyone who uses this phrases is completely bad, but Rachel and I have studied the subconscious sprain and so we, we like to really dig into things on a subconscious level. And usually the majority of what we see, again, this is not a generalization, there’s always outliers.
But when what we’re saying is most of the time, the majority of, when we see this phrase being preached or taught, the person who is adopting it, right? The person like us as marketers, as entrepreneurs, When we’re showing up with that thought, it does not produce what we need to produce.
And this is how we do it differently, especially in marketing, is that we understand the energetic and the subconscious layers that are underneath this. Not only for you as the entrepreneur, but also for your ideal client or the clients that you are, your audience, whoever you are selling to, or marketing to what it’s doing for them on a subconscious level too, right?
Because it is, we said at the very beginning, it is subconsciously sending them a message. And subconscious means they might not be aware of it, but it’s subconsciously sending them a message that they’re wrong and that they don’t know what they need, they’re not educated enough or whatever. And then on the flip side, you as that marketer, you are thinking they’re confused.
They don’t know what they need. I have to give them something. I have to tell them what they need. Yeah, they want this, but I have to tell them, you know what they need. And so it’s just creating this cycle of confusion because, and then, yeah, what we said, then you feel wrong. They feel wrong.
It’s everyone feels wrong and then everything goes wrong a lot of the times. And it’s this cycle that we wanted to talk about, because we do see it all the time. And this is why we focus on our belief Pentagon, our five belief Pentagon. Because this would be a belief about your marketing and a belief about ideal client.
Yeah. And we do that in the Belief Pentagon. We talk about our five beliefs, which we’ve talked about on several different episodes, but one of the biggest ones is , what are your beliefs about marketing? What do you believe about marketing? What do you. You know those are beliefs about marketing and then beliefs about ideal client. This is a subconscious belief about your ideal client.
Cuz you’re saying they don’t know, they don’t understand what they need, as in they’re confused, they’re not educated enough. So then you’re under core thought is they don’t know, they’re not educated enough, they don’t have the awareness. God, can you imagine speaking, let’s flip it for you. Could you imagine speaking to a coach who literally had the thought about you that you don’t know, you’re not aware, you don’t understand.
How horrible does that feel? Yeah. Actually, I’m gonna share this story. I saw a video on TikTok and night, I kind of laughed and I chuckled. I was like,, yeah, this is why you never like judge a book by its cover. You know that phrase?
And basically she told the story about how her dad was very wealthy, but he always wore shorts, gym shorts, t-shirts, and flip flops. And he walked into Tiffany’s Tiffany and company and wanted to buy her mom a new a anniversary ring or whatever. And she was like,, yeah, he was prepared to, to spend 300, $400,000, drop money in this store.
And he said he walked in and nobody addressed him for 45 minutes. And then finally when someone did address him, they treated him like he was dumb. Was trying to downsell him, basically thinking he couldn’t afford it.
, and she was saying , they literally talked to him like he was dumb and she was like,, my dad made his fortune in the diamond industry. And I was ,, oh, snap. , Oh God, this girl’s about to get schooled. Right. Anyway, so he the, the, the person was talking to him, the sales associate was talking to him like he was dumb and below her and was confused and didn’t know anything.
And maybe she wasn’t consciously doing that, but she had thoughts that she was projecting out onto him and and she was saying, the daughter was telling the story and the daughter was like,,, yeah, my dad ended up saying I wanna speak to a different associate.
And he said that the other, an older associate came out immediately. And started working with him and treated him like gold, basically, way better. And she said he dropped a ton of money. Then he went over to a different store and came back and bought that person a $50,000 purse to the second associate that helped and had the other associate come over and basically schooled her and was like,, I made my fortune in diamonds.
And I love those stories. Cause this is yeah, you just don’t judge people, right? But I just want you to imagine that your client is him and you are the sales associate because you have subconscious thoughts underneath being like,,, they don’t know, they’re confused, they can’t afford it.
Hello. How many of you guys have literally said that to your coaches? I’m attracting people who can’t afford it. Rachel’s shaking her head. Yeah. How I just called. So many people say that. Yeah. And if you’re thinking they can’t afford it, you are literally going to be showing up thinking they can’t afford it.
Why should I bother? They don’t know. I’m not gonna serve them. And that’s what that lady was thinking. But I want you to think about that for a hot second and what if that, that a sales associate loved her job so much, she was obsessed with diamonds, that she knew who that person was walking through the door and she like with everybody away like,, no, I’m working with that man right there.
And you know who that is. What have you thought about that as your clients? What have you thought your clients know? They are so empowered. They know the problem, they know the solution. They know that they are there to buy a half a million dollar ring and they know everything about the diamonds and the clarity and they wanna work with you because you knew who they were and you saw them.
I want you to think about that for a second. Sorry, I got heated. It’s okay. I get so good. But that’s it’s such a perfect example. I was seeing that TikTok and I was , oh my God. That. What a moment, right? What a moment. I use that example because it is such a great example Yeah. That the thoughts about your clients really are projected onto them.
And if you are thinking , I have to sell them what they want, give them what they need, you’re doing them a huge disservice and you’re doing your yourself a huge disservice. Yeah. , we’re done. That Yeah, I Ashley, great for that. There’s so many gems in there. Yeah, but take that and use it.
Really use that right now. In your business, in your marketing, and this is a massive perspective shift for you. If you listened to every word that we said you are automatically thinking differently about this now, it is in your brain, and yeah, go use this. Go use this and go out and market your business from this perspective and sell it to the people that want and need exactly what you have and make so much money and then amplify it
, we will see you in the next episode. Okay. Bye guys.
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