Money Beliefs That Sabotage Your Business with Rebeca Lima – Ep.026

Money Beliefs That Sabotage Your Business with Rebeca Lima – Ep.026

LISTEN TO EPISODE

SHOWNOTES

Episode Summary: In this episode, Ashley Mae & Rebeca Lima tackle common money mindset hurdles, digging into childhood influences and societal conditioning. From “I’m not good with money” beliefs to gender role stereotypes, they unravel the roots of financial struggles and offer practical tips for a mindset shift towards abundance in your business.

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Key Points Discussed:

1. Understanding Money Blocks: explore how early experiences shape our views on money, emphasizing the impact of subconscious beliefs on financial success.
2. Embracing Financial Identity: the importance of adopting a new financial identity through consistent action and mindset shifts, breaking free from self-limiting beliefs.
3. Balancing Mindset and Strategy: Reflecting on personal journeys, Ashley & Rebeca highlight the need for a balanced approach, integrating both mindset and practical strategies for financial growth.
4. Navigating Relationship Dynamics: Sharing anecdotes, they discuss how money beliefs affect relationships and offer insights into fostering equality in financial partnerships.

TRANSCRIPT

Hello everyone. Me and Rebecca have been literally sitting here talking for hey, we need to record this podcast. We, I’m going to turn it over to you in a second, Rebecca, and let you introduce yourself. But we have a really juicy topic today and we’re going to start with money mindset and we’re going to see where it goes.

I love that. Yeah. Okay. Rebecca, introduce yourself. You can do it quick and easy. I’m going to put like your actual third person legit bio below and you guys can read about that. But just a quick introduction first. Awesome. So I’m Rebecca Lima. I am from Brazil. You’re going to hear my accent here and I’m also known as the half ass hustler, but my actual title is business and mindset coach.

Love it. And you know what? I know I’ve told you so many times Rebecca that I love your accent. I can listen to you talk 24 7. I’m glad that you can because I can’t. I have a rule that I don’t ever re watch my videos and I don’t ever listen to my podcast episodes ever. That’s like my favorite thing to do is re listen to my artistical but I get better, I get more ideas.

When I listen to my own stuff, I’m like, Oh yeah, I totally forgot. I said that I can talk about that more or, and it, and I feel like it’s better for me to do that than to go listen to other people’s. Cause then it’s Oh yeah, it’s my own ideas. I’m going to talk about this some more. That is so funny because I’m like, no cringe cringe.

No. But then there’s part of me like, Oh, I sound really smart. You do sound really smart. Yeah. We literally guys Talk to her a while before this and she’s just like over here giving me tough love. Like you’re going to go sell this offer. You’re going to do it

Now, and like me and you actually had the pleasure of meeting in person last year or the year before it was the year before. The year before. And I had fought, I don’t even know if like I started following you way back in the day. Because of Brittany Holt. Oh, yeah! Did you know that?

Yeah, she had mentioned you or something at one point, and I was like, I don’t know who this is. And then I went to go follow you, and I was like, I saw you speaking, and I was like, oh my god, and she has an accent, I like, love this. And then I followed you, I’ve followed you ever since, and then I got the honor to like, meet you in person.

And that was mutual love, because Brittany was in one of the first rounds of Six Figure Society, and she said so many things about you. Yeah. Yeah, Mike. Who is this lady? I need to go follow her . I love when stuff like that happens, right? Like they, when we met in person too, it was I don’t even know if you remember this, but you said to me, you were like even better in person.

You’re even better than I imagined in person. And I remember going back in like to the hotel room. ’cause Ben was with me and I was like, oh, was Ben. I don’t think Ben was with me that year. No he wasn’t. He wasn’t with me that year. But I called him and I said, She was like, Oh, you’re even better in person.

It made me feel so good. Oh, like stroke in my ego. It was so funny. I was like, so excited to go tell Ben. I was like, Oh, I know just a love fest going on. So we’re going to jump into money mindset. But as you can tell, we might go all over the place, wherever the good Lord wants us to go. Okay. Money mindset. I know you’re very big on money mindset. So I’m just going to come out like a very just like off the wall random question is what do you think is the biggest Money block that you see like the biggest money thought maybe that you see is that I’m not good with money, right? I’m just not good with money.

Yeah, that’s the one. I like that like really shocks me I would have thought it would have been like I like money’s really hard to make like I have to work really hard to Make money. No, I think that it’s just I am a bad with money, right? And then this subconscious belief is if I’m bad with money now that there’s so little I’m going to be even worse when I have more.

Oh, I don’t, I’ve never thought of it that way. Yeah, but think about this. Most of us culturally across the board, we’re introduced to money when we are toddlers. Don’t put it in your mouth. It’s dirty. Don’t put it in your mouth. It’s dirty. Can you imagine? I say, Hey, Ashley, I would love for you to meet my friend, but he’s dirty.

What is your interpretation of that? That’s the first subconscious thought that we have about money. So of course we think that we can’t handle it. Because we don’t even want to be around it. It feels yucky. It feels guilty. It feels, ugh. It feels if you pay for my lunch, then I owe you something, right?

If you’re giving me money, then I need to do something to compensate for that. And it just creates this bad dynamic from the get go. I don’t think I’ve ever gone that far back. Yeah. Money. Yeah. And I, I’ve done a lot of like money mindset trainings and different things. And I think like the farthest I can go back with money was.

Like playing poker with my dad, I think it was maybe like seven or eight. And he’s like teaching me how to play poker. And he would put his pocket change in the middle and we would have to play poker. And whoever won got the pocket change. And I always lost. And so I think subconsciously I probably believe Oh, money’s not for me.

Like I can never win money. Like money doesn’t want to be around me, but that was like the earliest memory. But I guess they also could go into I’m bad with money because Yeah, if it doesn’t want me, I’m bad with it. When I do the vision integration method, which is my, framework for doing your vision boards that actually come through, they’re scientific based and neuroscience based, we even go through the day of your birth.

So what was the story around your birth when it comes, if you look through the money lens? So for me, my parents are both teens at the time. I, my mother wasn’t expecting me. She hit me. And when I came home, the story goes that I came back in a fruit basket because they didn’t have money for a crib, so they put a fruit basket.

And because I wasn’t playing my whole life. I’ve had this pattern of feeling like I’m an obstacle, right? Like I’m in the way. I wasn’t really meant to be here. So I need to make sure that everybody’s at peace all the time and I don’t bother anyone and I don’t take up any space. Let me just pretend I’m not here.

So when it comes to visibility, we’re very surface level with the way that we talk about visibility online, because that runs really deep. So when it came time for me to be an entrepreneur, taking up space was a major hurdle for me. Energetically, nervous system wise, mindset, and I worked on my mindset, but Without a strategy, mindset just sits on that cloud somewhere.

We could go all down that rabbit hole. I know. We were talking before we jumped on this about Libra energy and she’s, I’m like, I’m a Libra rising. And we were talking about like duality within Libra and how you have to have both. And, I think a lot of people online too they, they swing, right?

They, the pendulum swing. They either go really far into the feminine mindset, or they go really far into the masculine strategy and there’s not like this kind of middle in between. And I would even say that with money. Yes, they either go like very much to like their thoughts around money, but they don’t go into the like the actual managing day to day.

Yeah. And see, and if you don’t have a strategy, then there is no identity shift. Because it’s just a matter of time before you go back to your old default. Yeah, because it’s habitual. It’s habitual, right? It’s like working out. If you don’t put your tennis shoes and you don’t get ready the night before, then one day you’re going to have a headache, the next day you’re not going to sleep well, or your child decides to be an all night raver, like whatever happens.

But if you make that commitment, you have a strategy implemented. Then the identity shift happens because people are so focused on becoming their minds and they forget that we’re actually leaving our bodies. It’s the, the universal law that everyone’s Oh the law of attraction.

I’m like, yeah, but there’s also the law of action. Yes. And like people forget that this was a great example. I heard this. I saw a tick tock of this like last year, maybe, and it just stuck with me. And basically she was like, I want everyone to ball up your fists and I want you to look at your fist and I want you to think in your brain, open fist open fist open.

And she was like, you can think, open your fist all day long. You can sit there and say, I am someone who can open their fist. I can open my fist. She’s I am opening my fist. She’s you can say that all day long, but if you don’t take the action of actually opening your fist. It’s, it doesn’t matter.

And I was like, Oh my gosh, that’s such a good example. And I think that’s what a lot of people do. They’re like, I am someone who’s good with money, but you’re not actually practicing being good with money. Exactly. So that needs to shift is not happening. The mindset shift is happening, but the identity shift is not happening because there is action in attraction and people are trying most of us, right?

Because we don’t know better. We’re trying to become in a vacuum, but you become by the actions you take consistently. I can’t tell you I’m a runner since last time I ran was 1995 and I was probably running from somebody, right? I can only tell you that I’m a runner if I’m actually running every day and I’m run when it rains and I run when I don’t feel like it and I just run, then that makes me a runner.

But if the last time I ran was 1995 and I don’t even know why. That doesn’t make me a runner. Yeah, I think it was I’m bringing in the duality here too, because I almost see it on the flip side as well. It’s like a lot of people will take the action, but then they don’t claim it, right? Okay, let me give you an example.

Let’s say I read 10 books a week, like I’m physically reading 10 books a week. That’s a lot. But this is example, I’m reading 10 books a week. But if someone asked me, Hey, do you consider yourself a reader? And I don’t actually consider myself a reader. It would feel like it would feel weird, but I see that happening a lot too, where a lot of people will take the action, but they haven’t, like they don’t own the identity of it.

Yes. That is such, such a great point. And people do that with money. That’s what I’m saying. Like they have example with money, they can have a lot of money, but they don’t consider themselves wealthy. They don’t think Oh, I’m a wealthy person or, Oh, I’m a rich person. They will have a lot of money, but then it’s like, they don’t identify with that.

So then they probably mismanage that money too. So I had a private client, this perfectly describes this. I had a private client not too long ago, and she was just. Having a hard time with her sales and she’s I just don’t have any money. I was like, okay, let’s okay. No money. How much is it in your accounts?

Turns out she had 100, 000 sitting in her account. I’m like, you have six figures in that cash yeah, but that my squirrel account, that doesn’t count, right? Because she felt like as soon as she identifies with someone who has six figures laying around, she would spend it. So she couldn’t run, she couldn’t take up that space.

And of course we worked through those identity shifts of someone who’s able to not only have money, but not need to hide money for herself. And again, because, the way we do one thing is the way we do everything. She saw her mother and her grandmother hiding money from their spouses and hiding money here and hiding money because we literally were talking about that.

Funny. Oh my God. Now that you say that same, my mom hid money from my dad all the time. All the time. Oh my gosh, this is so she’s like calling me out guys. We were literally talking about that before we hit record. And it’s the cycle within the cycle, right? Because we are trying to do things so differently and we all this space.

Yes, I’m so different. But then no, there’s the little no one says that there’s the cycles within the cycles, and you have to really be mindful and cognizant of those. Yeah, I love that you said cycles was in the cycles too because I remember one of the like biggest money aha moments, two of them, but one of them that I had was And it goes within hiding money is that I had this one random thought a long time ago.

I was like, Oh my God, that makes so much sense is that, they say like more money, more problems, right? To me, it was like, if I made more money in my business, there would be more problems in my marriage because then there would be more reason for my husband and I to fight. Because we have more money, which was funny.

Cause you think like most couples are like, they fight because they don’t have money. And my thought was if we did have more money, we would fight more. And so for a really long time, I’d never shared with Ben, how much money I was making in my business. Cause I didn’t want there to be arguments. And I saw that with my parents because like my mom was a stay at home mom for a really long time.

And then when she went back to work my dad controlled the money. And so when she started going back to work, she would literally. Save it, put it so he wouldn’t know about it because then he would want to spend it or he would want to like, contribute it and she she would hide it in, she, I remember her like hiding it in like stuffed animals too, like I remember like we had one where the battery, like the battery was, I literally remember her putting cash in stuffed animals, like in our bedroom so that we Like my dad wouldn’t find it because it’s a high level hiding going on there.

Now that you’re like thinking about Oh my God. And I see when you’re talking about levels within levels, I see that like that other thought of, if I have more money, there will be more problems in my marriage stemmed from that because that was also my mom thought. I’ve actually lived through that myself because my husband and I are both an entrepreneur.

He has been an entrepreneur for way longer than I have. And when I started making money and being a breadwinner, I was like, I really wanted to be this boss lady and for him to serve me because how dare he not serve me when I’m doing all of that. Bring me a drink, I’m happy every morning, take care of the children, because how is it fucking fair?

I’m sorry, can we continue? Yes, you can continue. Yes, absolutely. How is it effing fair that I have to be the breadwinner and take care of the children and take care of the dog and take care of the house and take care of all these other things that we do, right? So we really had to work on that dynamic of like money is just money and it doesn’t matter who comes.

We’re playing the same team here because he has always been a team player. I just became an asshole when I started making more money. I truly went into my went to my head and I just, I didn’t see him. I was very emasculating because I do have that natural a lot of masculine energy and let’s get things done.

And he was very emasculating because he was a brother for a long time, right? And he never acted that way towards me. But when The shoe was flipped right when the situation changed and navigating that because one of my biggest money block was when I have a lot of money, my husband’s going to become lazy in mind you.

My husband is a man who was born in the country. He’s up at five o’clock in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays. He is like the complete, I’m a city girl. He’s a country boy. He’s like the complete opposite of me. I know that. I feel like I’m a country girl, but Ben grew up on a farm, like same, like he, he’s a wannabe cowboy.

He like wears cowboy boots and he has like a cowboy hat, that’s what Montana like. So yeah, that’s funny. I totally didn’t know that. But yeah. So for me, like five star hotels is the way to go. My husband wants to go camping somewhere. I’m like, sounds very similar. It’s funny, Rebecca, because we, you guys, me and her met at a retreat at this five star basically resort in West Palm Beach.

And it’s like thousands of dollars a night for this resort. And Ben, you weren’t there last year, but Ben came along with you last year. And let me tell you what, he lived like a king. He was like. Baby, they even did our laundry and I was, he was like loving it. So I feel like I’m slowly turning him into a little bit of a luxury life.

And he’s like enjoying it. And so he’s going, I’m going next year too. And so he already was like, I’m going with you next year. Like I’m coming back, and I’m like Oh why? So you can sit at the pool and get literally get your towel. Cause they put your towel down.

Then you go swim in the pool and they go around and they put a fresh towel on your chair. Oh my God. Yeah. And he was like, dude, every time I came back from the pool, I had a nice, clean, dry towel on my chair. And I was like, I know. And he was, he just was like blown away. He talked about the O legit for like months, probably four or five months after this.

Yeah. He’s totally my husband too. Because we keep, we have a joke. Once you go five star, you won’t go back or first class. Once you get first class, you won’t go back. We’re not doing first class yet. I can deal with it in the coach for now. But yeah, that’s so funny. But that’s such an interesting, it’s such an interesting dynamic.

I don’t know if I, I don’t think I experienced that to that level, but there was a little bit of that for me in the in the like motherhood role too, because it was like, I’ve been working all day as well. And you’ve been working all day as well. I’m not going to be expected to cook dinner and take care of all the kids.

Like you also have to help with that. And I will say that was a little it was a little hard, like shift in our marriage, because not that it was like. He was upset about it, but it was more so everybody else’s input because his mom was very traditional. Like she cooked dinner every night. Very, what’s the word I’m looking for?

Like patriarchal roles, this dad does this. And even like his brother and sister in law sister in law does everything brother does not like, his brother doesn’t do basically. He just works and provides. Yeah. And like for us. We have such a different dynamic like to where it really is like 50 50 and it’s it works for us But it was everybody else’s input That made him feel bad like that made him feel like maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.

What are they thinking of me? They don’t think I’m a man because I’m doing this. And I’m like, would you rather someone actually said the same? I said, would you rather someone? think you’re less of a man, or would you rather your daughters think you were the best dad in the world?

Take your choice. And he immediately was like, Oh, I’m getting teary eyed thinking about it. Cause it was like, it was such a shift for him. And I was like, do you care about this like random person? Who’s not even in our family thinking you’re less of a man, or would you rather your daughters.

Literally grow up and be like, I’m the best dad in the world. He like helped brush my hair in the mornings. He helped me get me dressed like we had so much fun together. He gave me bath time. You know what? You know what I mean? Would you rather that? And he was like, hands down. Yes. And then he, then it just shifted everything.

And he’s very much a 50 50, 100%. I don’t have to ask. He is yes, Clara, Clara’s potty training now. But when she was in diapers, he would be , yep, change your diaper. And never have to, Hey, can you change her diaper? Direct? He just sees things needs to get done and he jumps in and he.

Yeah. But it took a little bit to get there. Yeah. It took us a little bit too. And then I had to really go through this major ego death where I, and I feel like marriage is such a perfect place for that to happen because like you, like he’s also Brazilian. There’s the machismo that men don’t change diapers.

Men. Mine is, mine’s Hispanic. So yes. Think about that. Like the mother had like 15 kids and yeah, that was a lot of that too, Fernandez coming from. Yes. But he, I’ve been so blessed because he has always been hands on. Like he changed their first diaper, gave them like their first bath, but he didn’t know how, and I was asking him to do something that he just simply didn’t know how.

And honestly, I didn’t know what I was asking for. Anyways, because I was never in that role. There is no one in my family that the woman makes more than the man. There was no, I didn’t have any role models of duplicating that. All the role model that I had across the board was the overgiving resentment cycle, which is the cycle that I was constantly in.

And because Of his schedule. He’s out the door. He comes home late. I am, the hands on. I am running a one woman show most of the time. And that’s just the way that our life is. And honestly, I wouldn’t have any other way. I don’t like him being in my way. But what happened is we hired a wife. So we had, we hired a wife and she was doing everything besides sleeping with my husband.

Yeah, gosh, man, that’d be like something where, I was telling Ben, I was like, I really want to hire a housekeeper. Cause literally it’s not that expensive. And I’m like, dude, like we, I really want to get a house cleaner. And he’s No, you can clean the house. We can clean the house. And I’m like, I don’t want to clean the house.

And I was like, I’d rather someone else clean the house. Oh my gosh. She was a five star chef. So she’ll come to my office with like gourmet meals. You have like fondue with fruits waiting for the children when they come home from school. She would go to the post office. She returned things on Amazon. She was doing like, she would origami my underwear.

It was so amazing. But then it was over because a year into it, I felt like we got the healing that we needed, the breath that we needed to take, and then it was like one more person in the way, and he became like one more person for me to manage because I have to give her the grocery list.

I had to tell her what we wanted to eat. And then And then he, she also grew her business tremendously working for me because I’m like, have you posted on Facebook today? Have you done this today? You need to be doing this. That’s just like your natural energy literally before the call. She’s like out here.

All right, we’re going to get an offer down like right now. Like we’re going to name it. We’re going to get it together and you’re going to go out and you’re going to sell it. I always say coaching is not something that I do. It’s just who I am. Yeah, I feel like I, I posted about this a little while ago and it was from Catherine Morrison.

She came up with this concept called the head entrepreneur and the heart entrepreneur. And I see it so clearly, we even touched on this before we hit record that there are people out there who literally just have like their business savvy, right? Everything they do relates to business, right?

And I call that the head entrepreneur. Like they, they are the ones who think of their businesses, like them, like it’s every day they’re doing it. Like it’s very logical type thinking. And then the heart entrepreneur on the other hand is. Like they’re the person who really like loves what they’re doing, but it might not be the business aspect of it.

So I’ll give you a great example. Like a heart entrepreneur could be like someone who really loves teaching, right? Like they are a teacher and they’re like, my purpose in life is to be a teacher that they have. If they were to go out and try to start a business teaching, it would be really hard for them because now it’s the business aspect on top of it.

It makes sense. And so I like, I love that aspect because I see you as a little bit of both, which is funny because I feel like you’re either a heart entrepreneur, all heart entrepreneur, or you are the head entrepreneur and you have heart come in. Yeah. What you are, right? I feel like if you’re a head entrepreneur first, the heart kind of comes in because you do start really loving like what it is that you’re doing.

But you got to have those skills of entrepreneurship and like building a business too. And I think that’s why you see a lot of people too like they’re really good at a skill, like a plumber. Yeah. And then even dentists. I’m like, I’m going to say dentist because I used to work in the dental field. I don’t know if you even knew that or not.

I didn’t. I didn’t. I, before I became an entrepreneur, I actually worked in an orthodontic office. I was a certified dental assistant. So I put braces on kids all day long and did Invisalign with the adult patients, which I love. But the, my dentist was freaking amazing, incredible orthodontist.

But he lacked the business skills, right? Because you’re like, you’re a dentist, but you’re running a business of owning a dental office. And he struggled. So he struggled with the marketing. He struggled with the business aspect, but he was so freaking good at what he does. And so he was like, I call that like the heart entrepreneur where you had, the heart was there, but the business skills, the head part was lacking.

That is so funny you said that because I feel like I’m definitely more of a head entrepreneur because I’ve been an entrepreneur. I’ve been helping people create businesses forever. And a lot of my clients are in private practices. And I have a client who is in the doggie daycare field. She’s been, she a colleague in my previous career.

And I’m really proud of her. She’s like going big this year, but she runs a daycare, a doggy daycare. And then we came up with all of these brilliant ideas. Like she has a school bus that’s called the tail wagon that goes pick up the dogs in their homes. I know it’s so freaking cool.

Do I know anything about dogs? No, I can’t even potty train my own dog, but I know business in those. Yeah, readable, yeah. And yeah that’s definitely the head entrepreneur, but which is funny. Cause like now that you have that though, you can bring like. The heart piece in it, you know what I’m saying?

And yeah, it’s, it was such a different concept to where I have not stopped thinking about it ever since she said it. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I totally see this. And I will say this too. It made me die to my ego a little bit as well, because I realized like I have been trying to be this heart entrepreneur of Oh, I really care about coaching and I really care about this.

And while yes, it’s fun and I’m good at it. I would be just as happy making seven figures owning real estate. Or owning a coffee shop or, like going in and consulting in other people’s businesses. That would bring me so much joy and so much fun. And yeah, it’s just, it’s something I have not been able to stop thinking about.

That I’m definitely reading that book. It’s not a book, it was just a concept that she talked about. And I was like, Oh, and we were, it was a podcast interview and she was talking about Oh my God, I’ve never thought about it. But I almost that could relate to money too. So relatable, it’s so relatable to money and I love everything about it because it’s so true.

Like so many of us want to have, they’re hard entrepreneurs, right? And they have a hard time making money because they are like, but I can’t charge because I am in to change their lives, I can’t charge for that. And there is, they have entrepreneurs that have no heart in the game. It shouldn’t even be because they’re just right.

They lack ethics and morals. And that’s another conversation altogether. But what’s, what ends up happening is because the hearts of the entrepreneur are shrinking and they’re like, I can’t charge. I can’t charge. And they had entrepreneurs with no ethics. They take up a lot of space. And we build this story around if I’m ethical, I can’t grow.

If my heart is in it, I can’t make money. I can’t charge for it because only unethical people take other people’s money to do this. Or like deservancy that came up for me is if I make a lot of money. I won’t deserve it. You know what I’m saying? Like it, I don’t, I’m not charging more because I don’t feel like I deserve more money.

And I I think that’s a really big piece that I see quite a lot is or I’ll see a lot. I’ve had a lot of clients make a lot of money and then they go and they spend a ton of it. So like their profit margin is so little. And it always comes down to some idea of that. Like they don’t actually deserve to have that Like they can’t have it like they’re so good at making their they’re the head entrepreneur.

They will go and they’ll make it and they know how to make it and they’re not like a holes about it. They have a little bit of heart in there. But then that I feel like they swing to that heart side where it’s I don’t deserve this. Let me give it all away. Sure. And it’s also this default identity that they see themselves as somebody who’s always struggling.

So who am I, if I’m not struggling? Who am I if I am living overflow, right? My very second. Remember I had two huge, like two huge things. Mine was, if I don’t work really hard for it, I don’t deserve it. So like money’s only worth it if I struggle. That was like another huge. And that’s learned throughout my entire life because I, we grew up very poor.

And so it was, I saw both of my parents struggling. Then I saw my mom like hiding money and stuffed animals because she was going to get yelled at by my dad. And and and I just remember two, let’s even flip it on its head. Us being really poor and then our idea of people who did have a lot of money.

And there was this one person who lived down the road from us and their son who was like one of my best friends we went to we didn’t go to school together, but we were, we went to this rival high schools, but we hung out all the time because my mom had a house cleaning business.

And so she would clean their house and then they were like, Hey. Could you even also watch our kids because they live right down the road and they lived in a probably 3 million home. They had 300 acres, like all of this money. And I remember every time they were mentioned, my mom or dad would say something like, Oh yeah, the, they’re really rich, but you would never know it.

They’re such humble people. And they would it would always be like that. It was always like, oh yeah, they have a lot of money, but you would never know it. They’re such nice people. They’re such humble people. And it was, and so it was like my identity to people who have a lot of money was like, oh, they’re the exception because usually people with a lot of money are me.

And that’s, yes, that’s the same thing I remember being six or seven driving through like a rich neighborhood in Brazil. And then I like, wow, look at those fancy houses. And my parents, my dad specifically saying they either must be a thief or a politician, which is the same thing, right? And then when I started making money, I was like, am I stealing from people?

Is this yucky? And then the other thing that showed up in my marriage was we can be unified in our struggle. Can be, can we be unified in our overflow? We knew who we were when we were struggling together, working towards the same goal. We didn’t know who we were when there was overflow. And that was a lot of chaos for a while.

That’s such a good point because yeah, when you’re, when you are married. It’s, like coming together of everything. And I had money mindset issues. My husband had money issues. Like my parents constantly talked about money and how little we had and how like we couldn’t waste money. Like we can’t afford that.

Like we don’t have money for that. And Ben’s family never talked about money. It was like, I have no idea how much money my parents made. And he. alluded to the fact that he grew up in a house that like was not very nice, but he’s I didn’t know we didn’t have money. It was just whatever to me.

Yeah. And so they like never talked about money. And so here I am, we get married constantly trying to talk about money and looking at our money. And then Ben is like completely avoidant of it. He’s like, why do we need to look at it? Like we don’t have, why are we talking about money? And then of course, like when you become an entrepreneur, it’s like money fluctuates.

And so I’m over here I made a lot of money this month and I didn’t make a lot of money this month. And he’s who cares? It’s like money. And it’s just. His whole thought process around money is so different than what my thought process was. Yeah, see, I grew up in third world country poverty.

I remember my dream as five, six was frosted flake with strawberries. That was the thing. Yeah, it wasn’t like Barbie or Disney. It was Frosted Flake with strawberries because it was something frivolous that my family couldn’t afford. And my husband was even like, when I say I was poor, he’s really?

Who you’re kidding? Like you had food. My husband didn’t have electricity until he was 12 years old.

We, I wasn’t that poor, but we were we struggled. I do think that I think, and then as children, you don’t really think it’s just normal. Yeah. See, actually for me, it was My mother really valued education. So we went to a really nice school, a really nice school. We had to travel two hours to get to school, two hours to come back.

So it was enhanced. My poverty was enhanced every day because the only people who went to that school were people who were affluent, who could go to that school. And I remember I have, I talk about my dirty uniform. The first time that I felt shame was the when the director called me, the principal called me, and she didn’t look at me.

She looked at my dirty uniform. And that was the first time that I felt dirty and ashamed and I didn’t belong. So the not belonging was enhanced every day, of being in such. So you see how money mindset and my husband has no problem because everyone was in the country. Everyone had the same teacher, everyone had lived in that.

scenario. So it’s different upbringings bring up different things. Like I have friends who got huge inheritances and that was a huge money block for them. Who am I? Somebody has died in order for me to have money. And then they, it just burns a hole in their pocket, right? They’re spending money because of the deserving as the worthiness.

And Money is neutral. Yes. The meaning, better said, been done right? Easier said than done . But money’s such a mirror for everything that we have, for all of our shadows, for everything that we, for the identity shifts that we want. And when my husband and I started making money, we had to deal with a lot of.

Are our family. This is unheard of. Yeah. So we are the psycho breakers. And then he comes with the guilt because we’re the psycho breakers, then we have to pay for everybody else. . Yeah. Yeah. To do things. And that over responsibility. Me being the oldest child and him being the only man of the family. I think for me in general too, like same I was like me and my sister were the first people in our family to go to college and college was seen as frivolous and a waste of money.

It just wasn’t something like you can make money not doing that, go get a job at, whatever. And so for me, like when I. Sorry, especially social media, people see you having a business on social media, your friends with your friends and your family. I remember like someone, one of our family members said something to my mom thinking like, Oh, Ashley just thinks she’s too good for everybody because, she bought a new house and all these things and like they are moving and they’re traveling.

I remember Ben and I going on a trip. It was when we went to Italy, actually. We went to Italy and they were just like talking about how spoiled I was and too good for them now because we like could afford to go on a trip versus literally there are people in my family who have never even left the state of North Carolina.

Wow. They’ve never even left the state. Yeah. And so even going to college too was, who does she think she is? She’s like better than us. And she’s trying to like, just, disregard her family and like things like that. And I’m like, yeah, I am. Cause you guys are pretty negative.

But sometimes I’m like, yeah and I’m like one of the only ones who moved somewhat away. All of my family still lives in that small town, except for my uncle had moved to Florida. Actually, my aunt and uncle moved to Florida, and then he just moved back a couple years ago because my aunt passed away.

But yeah, it was one of the only ones that don’t live in our hometown anymore. So I see money is such a visibility thing because not only it’s such a mirror, especially in today’s world with social media that everybody knows because it used to be where you can. It could easily be the next door millionaire and people wouldn’t know right like you go to work and then you come back and maybe you live in a nice neighborhood.

But now, especially as entrepreneurs, we talk about how much money our clients make and we talk about the things that we do right. So it’s not only that mirror, but it’s also the visibility and it’s not only Because of his abilities, because our innate sense of belonging in troubled times. If you didn’t belong with a tribe, then you would be eaten by a bear or a tiger, right?

So we have the survival instinct to be long. And if we don’t belong with our family, we don’t really know these people in the online world, where do we belong? And I feel like most entrepreneurs feel like a mismatch, right? And that’s why we become entrepreneurs because we’re stepping out of the norm, but that creates its own set of limiting beliefs and money blocks.

Yeah. And all of those things bring up I love that you said it’s a mirror because it’s not even a mirror to ourselves, but like a mirror to other people, because if you start making money, you see it. The real people. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. You see how they start acting.

I remember too, like Ben, my husband he really wanted an F two 50 truck. He’s wanted it forever. Like forever. And I had no idea how expensive trucks were. I’ve never owed a truck. I’ve never even cared to look at them ’cause whatever. And I think this was, this is probably was, hi, his truck’s in 2020, so a couple, three years ago.

And he really wanted this F 250 truck and I was like, oh, okay, then let’s go look at it. And I remember like pulling up to the dealership and he’s this is the one I want. And I looked at the sticker price and I’m like, this is like an 84, 000 truck. Are you flipping kidding me? I remember thinking, One, I had no idea trucks were that expensive and I was like, what?

I just was like, what in the world? Which was fine. Like it’s, it’s whatever. He really wanted it. And I was like we can, technically we can afford this. Like we can it’s fine. We were trading in his car anyways. It was like, we can’t afford this.

It’s cool. And I, at the point was like. I really want him to have this truck he’s wanted forever. Like he’s I’ve wanted this since I was a child. And so we get this truck and we, a couple of weeks later, we’re in the car. And he’s driving and I’m in the passenger seat and I might ride in high and mighty.

Cause this thing is nice this is the nicest car I have ever ridden in. And it’s jacked up. I’m really little, I’m like, I’m only five foot. So I’m like, I’m in this seat and I’m like, I feel so big and powerful. I love this thing. And this guy pulls up next to us and looks over and Ben like smiles and like awkwardly looks away.

And I was like, what’s wrong? He goes. I don’t know. I just feel like sometimes like in this truck, people are looking at me and thinking like, who does he think he is that he has all this money and he’s like spending it on this truck and he’s just. What, who does he think he is type thing?

And I was like, what? And it was just funny because he like felt so much shame and actually getting what he wanted because he cared about what other people were thinking. He kept thinking like, yeah, they probably think I’m like, I’m. Like all high and mighty and all this and I was like, I would have never thought that, but that’s a valid thought, to think and I feel that comes up with so many things, like so much money, so many things, all the time but that was like just a really random example of what I remember.

And now, I’m over here smiling, grinning, like happy Hey, look at this nice truck I’m riding in, and then he’s shameful because he’s I don’t want people to look at me because I don’t want them to think that I’m like high and mighty and above them. Yeah. Crazy. I was like, Oh, it’s so funny.

Because I’m like the banning the relationship and my husband is definitely the Ashley where he’s like such a show off. I’m like, I wanted it and I got it. I’m going to tell everybody look, listen, I wanted it and I got it. That is my husband, which is. So the irony of I’m here teaching money mindset and he’s not because he’s I want all the money for me.

I want all of this knowledge just for me. I’m not sharing that. That is so funny. What is his astrology? Do you know what his sun sign is? He’s Taurus. Okay. Yes. Yes. Yep. I see that. Yep. Yep. Yep. So Taurus is ruled by Venus and Venus is the planet of abundance. And beauty and love. So like 1000 percent and I, and again, Libra rising a Libra is ruled by Venus as well.

So the Libra rising for me is all about, yeah, look what I got. It’s funny too, because I see it’s not that it’s like an egotistical negative way, because we are also very giving. I really want to make money so that I can also help people. Invest in things like I love investing.

And I got told Ben so many times, I would love to make enough money to just see like somebody else, invest in somebody else’s business. Hey, here’s a hundred thousand dollars. Let me come in and help you consult. Like here, I’m putting the money up. Let’s get this ball rolling. Type thing.

But it is like the more we have, the more we feel like, Hey. It gives inspiration to other people to be so funny because like I wanted to buy a hair mask that was 60, 000 and that’s just outrageous for a hair mask. And we just all agree that

that’s outrageous. Does it make your hair like six feet long in 20 minutes? What does it do? Okay. Disclaimer. I have a couple of autoimmune that really affects my hair and my skin. Anyways, I was like debating buying this hair mask and think like I talk about bundles every single day you guys probably can’t see but I’m wearing my dollar earrings and he’s like just buy the dang mask Yeah, that’s me.

I’m like, how can it be that easy? And I have a Louis Vuitton wallet that I have like my biggest month ever. And I was like, I’m going to reward myself. And I spent like a whole month and he’s just go and do it already. Yeah. And that was the car too. I was like, Holy crap. I did not know that this was like over 80, We can do it.

It’s fine. Like we got it, and I, my negotiation skills, talk that salesman down. We did not leave that truck. We didn’t leave that with the truck that day. I like played hard ball. And then that dude was like, text it. And this was in 2020 when This was right before the cars like went really high because they did not have, they were trying to sell the inventory because it was during COVID.

So no one was buying cars, no one was going anywhere. So they were trying to sell, they were trying to sell the inventory. So I caught that man down. Like we played, Ben was like, like a professional negotiator. I was like, Oh, listen, I’m going to get this car down to as low as we can possibly get it down. And I am that person too, that anytime something needs to be handled, like I’m the one that calls and yeah, it’s just Oh, I want everyone to be happy and nice.

But no, I get it. But it is true. The way that we think about money just shows up. And even with me being in messaging, I see it show up in messaging. I can see those things, like how you’re speaking. Cause I always say your marketing and your messaging is a reflection of your mindset.

And your thoughts around money show up so easily and then funny because you’ll attract those same people who have that same mindset. I know. Yeah. And like even the, even like within words that you say in your marketing and I remember one time too, one thing, one shift for me. When it came to offer within money, instead of saying Oh, my offer costs, it’s always outside of you.

Oh, this offer costs, instead of saying like my offer Oh, here’s what my offer is. So even when I was coaching my clients, I wouldn’t say. Tell me what your offer is. I would say, what’s the offer? And they would say the offer is, and they would never say, I would not let them say my offer because it was so tied to their identity, how they’re getting paid.

Yeah. And so I was like, what if it was like, just imagine you selling drinks at a lemonade stand. You wouldn’t be like, this is my Coca Cola. Yeah. Coca Cola, this is the Coca Cola and it’s 2, you know what I’m saying? So yeah, it was even that within the identity of separating what you’re actually selling from you.

I love that because that is a money block that I see so frequently where people think that one post is a reflection of who they are as a human being. Oh, yeah. And they don’t post, right? And that one offer is who they are. And it’s so entangled together that it’s hard for them to see, okay, And, this is where the half hats comes in.

How can you half hats this all the way to six, multi six or seven figures? Let’s just half hats this and get it out of the way. Because that perfectionism is based on fear, based on belonging, and it all has to do with money blocks. Everything comes down to money. Even, I will say, I was just interviewing my friend who’s a CFO, and he literally said, one of the things that he thinks a lot of businesses get wrong, is they immediately go straight into marketing and sales first, and like visibility, and he’s get your financials in order.

It’s like financials always come first. Like money will always come first. Like you need to know the foundation. Like you need to set your goals and how much money you want to make. You need to get on board with that. If your mind’s not on board with it, lower it. And then he was like, you, and then, he worked with e commerce brands, but he was saying like, too, with your money management needs to come before marketing, because you need to know how much money you’re spending on marketing.

If you’re hot, because he works e commerce, but I even think of it. It’s yeah money is also time. You know what I’m saying? If you’re right in the beginning and you aren’t making sales, how much time, if you were to put a money on it, like how much time are you spending? Like how much time are you willing to spend or equate that to dollars?

Are you willing to lose? 150 doing this activity right now that you shouldn’t be doing is that something you’re willing to do and putting it with that? But it was so fascinating talking to him because I saw it from a different perspective of not a service based business. I was like, wow.

And he’s no one does that. And I love that he says if that money, if that dollar amount scares you, let’s just lower it. Because that is my mindset. Because a lot of people, we get so stuck into is this offer scalable? Is this offer scalable? Most offers that are scalable, people don’t think they’re scalable when they’re putting it out.

Yeah. I actually don’t love the concept of scalability. I am never looking to scale, because that, it leaves me in such a limited. Yes. I’m always in mind space growth, right? Because they think about or burnout. That’s another Monday blog that I see. But if I get so many clients, I’m going to get burnout.

And I’m like, you don’t even have three clients right now. What are we talking? What are we even talking about right now? Yes. Like the now, like being in the now, Oh my gosh, this was something that I totally saw. Rachel and I were, we’re business partners. And when we created our first offer, her mind went to immediate, let’s build this as if we have 5, 000 people in this program right now.

And I’m like no, we have no one in this program right now. We’re going to waste a lot of time setting up this. Huge thing trying to accommodate 5, 000 people when we have no one in there right now. So we’re like wasting a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of energy, a lot of money, like doing this when we just focus on your next one.

What would it look like to have five? What would it look like to have 10? And don’t, and you can adjust as you’re going. And I am like that 1 percent shifter, what is that 1%? How can we get that alpha 1 percent better? How can we get that marketing 1 percent better? Because we are so used to that 180.

How can I do 180 in my business and scale and do this, that we get stuck in a problem that we don’t even have. Have you noticed almost every single person who comes into the entrepreneurship game, it’s always the 100, 000. It’s like the goal right off the bat. I want 100, 000. I want a six figure business.

Yeah. And then once you hit six figures, it’s I want a seven figure business. I’m like. Why can’t you just incrementally go up? Upgrade. And it’s so funny because money mindset is such a personal thing too. I have clients who double the prices of their offers all the time. And I’m like, okay, let’s do it.

And I’m really that self landing for them. I’m like encouraged cheerleader. Let’s do it. And I have other clients who are like me. Like I can’t double my prices overnight. It will be a shock to my nervous system. Oh yeah. I would freeze. I’m like. You know what I say? I feel like this too. And maybe this is, I don’t know if it’s personal to me, but I’m sure someone listening there, Rachel called it, I think she got it from her coach, but it was called like success entitlement where a lot of times to, let’s say you have a really big month and then after that you like think that you should be having those big months constantly and then you get in your own way.

And it’s you feel like you are entitled. To that money are entitled to that success. And I’m going to use Rachel as an example. I’m sure she won’t mind. Which is just so funny because she went from being an entrepreneur making six figures in her business to now working in a nine to five that offered her way less than six figures.

And she was like bitter about it. And she was like, I know I’m so much better. Like I like. I find it so rude that they offered me such, and it wasn’t low, but she was like lower. I used to be making six figures. I’m like, but you have to also understand those people that hired you have no idea what a life coach was that you’ve been doing for the past, like five years.

You’ve never worked in that industry. They have no idea who you are. Your references aren’t anywhere near like anyone in that industry. So like they’re taking a chance on you. But it was like her ego was getting in the way. Her like success entitlement was getting in the way. I call it a seven figure squirrel.

Oh, that’s good too. Yeah. Yeah, they, they make six figures and now they’re chasing a second seven figure squirrel and their entitlement lets them. An ego a little bit, forget the basics and the basics get you every single time. I swear, I literally posted this a couple months ago and I said the difference between seven figure and six figure entrepreneurs that I’ve seen is they are never ashamed to go back to the basics.

Yes. Like the most successful seven figure entrepreneurs that I have worked with are always going back to the basics. We always go back to basics, which is even with me, why I always talk about, I don’t client and offer. And it’s those are such to most people that are such low level beginner things of Oh, I already know my offer.

And I don’t client. I’m like, you really don’t like, I’m telling you right now, you really do not know it to the specificity that you can have it. And then also a lot of the times their offer doesn’t actually meet. who they’re targeting. And it’s like I all I kid you not. I’ve worked with an eight figure business owner and it has always gone down to the basics of ideal client and offer like always I touch on those with every single person every single time.

You know my clients when they have no business and they’re hiring me they’re crying their car because they have no money they’re going to go bankrupt. My seven figure multi seven figure clients are crying the car because they have no money they’re going bankrupt. It’s literally the same conversation and now not only do they feel like they’re going to go bankrupt, but they have a team right and now they have a new lifestyle and now they have more responsibilities because money is just money, right?

And your feelings towards unless they change and you have that mindset in the identity shift to a company, that mindset, then nothing really changes the number just becomes bigger. And it’s funny because I think everyone online just has this whole different concept. They’re like, Oh, once you reach that amount, like all your problems go away.

And I’m like, no, listen, no, they’re just starting. I have literally coached a client who made 2, 000 a month on the exact same thing that I coached someone on my eight figure client, literally the exact same conversation. It just shows up differently. Like the mindset is the same. It’s just. The actions they’ve taken are different, and then the result is usually still the same, right?

And I think you can agree with me that most people who are on the six and multi six figures are scaling to seven figures. What gets them there is that newbie mindset. That excitement. I call it the all of the beginning, like just that all in magic and wonder and being open for miracles where most people when they are at the six figure and they just have that what Rachel called the success entitlement and what I call the seven figure squirrel, right?

They’re like, I’m too good for messaging. I’m too good for the, I already know that I’m too good for this. No. Oh, I already know that. That’s, oh, I already know that. I already know my ideal client. I already know my offer, and I’m like you aren’t getting the results you want. So like, how well do you know?

You know what I mean? Oh, I don’t know that I don’t need that. Or Yeah, I don’t, I already know that. I’ll say this too. I feel that a lot of people within that seven figure range that I have worked with as well. Like you were talking about, like the newbie energy it’s that they, and this goes into the success entitlement is that they see something that has worked in the past when work, it has made sales, but then I have to sometimes shift their mindset in what does it mean to work? Because yes, you’re making money, but your clients aren’t perfect fit clients. You are bending over backwards. You’re spending more time. You’re going against your own boundaries, like all of these things. And so like to them, I feel like in the entrepreneurial world, it’s it’s working if you’re making money.

But to me, that is not my definition of working. It works to me when you are making money as well as having fun in your business Being able to work with people who light you up and who are getting the best results that they possibly can And so like I think that’s another thing that I see within The seven figure ones I’ve worked with that success entitlement is this offer is validated and it’s sold several times.

And I’m like, yeah, it’s making money, but you also are bringing in people you don’t enjoy working with. So who is it actually working for? Yeah. What is the alignment here? And I, that’s all about does this feel second nature? Could you do this for free for the rest of your life if you just want the Powerball?

And if the answer is no, then we need to change that because you obviously not aligned. And that’s what the heart piece that comes into earlier. Yeah. But it’s like the heart piece. And I’m like, you see that too. Like you see when someone’s just a heart entrepreneur, they’ll be like, Oh, I could, I would do this for the rest of my life, like every single day if I didn’t get paid for it.

But then it’s okay, here’s a million dollars. And then they’re like, Oh, I’d rather go do, do something else. But it’s like, when you have that headpiece too, it’s yeah, I’m finding joy and fulfillment and what I’m doing right now. All in. Yeah. I’m telling you that, that whole concept completely shifted.

I like, I need to just do a whole podcast episode. You do. That was so good. It’s so eye opening. I’m like, Oh my gosh, this makes so much sense. But anyways, okay. We are right at the time. I’m I hate that I could talk to you forever. I hate, I have to jump because I have to go get my girls from school, but can you tell everyone how they can find you how they can work with you if you’re in, if they’re interested and yeah, what you’re offering at the moment.

Awesome. So you can find me at the half ass hustler hangout, which is my free Facebook group. Rebecca with one C Lima dot coach is my website where you’re going to find all the juicy information. I am the founder of the six figures society where I help entrepreneurs half ass their business all the way to six multi six and seven figures with a full heart, half ass full heart.

And I’m also the founder of the vision integration method where I help coaches get deep into the mindset of coaching with a framework and improvement strategy. Love it. My my past coach that I had, his thing was called Hustle Harmony. Oh, I love it. And I, yeah, I bet you would like that really jives with you too.

He was like, yeah, it’s a Hustle Harmony. It’s like the hustle, but then also like the joy and the fulfillment. And yeah, so very similar to the half ass hustler. It’s his was called, we literally even had shirts that said Hustle Harmony on it. Oh, that’s cute. But I loved that too. Yeah. I like that.

It was Hustle Harmony. You’re right. Gabby. The one we both know, Gabby’s the one who coined me the half ass hustler. Is she? Oh my gosh, we love Gabby. Gabby Abrams, go follow her. She’s amazing. She’s a mutual friend of ours. We were talking about her before we got on Hit Live 2 and just her queen.

Her queen energy and her pink, she’s obsessed with pink. We just love her so much. And she does subconscious marketing. Yeah. Yeah. Subconscious marketing. So we love her. I’m going to, I actually have her coming on too. So stay tuned. She’ll be a guest on the show as well.

And you’ll hear all about her. I just haven’t interviewed her. But yeah, awesome. I will make sure to link all of that in the show notes and thank you so much again. Thank you guys on the next episode.